


PSYCHO-PASS : Paradigm Shift

by galateabellator



Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Crime Fighting, F/F, F/M, Hardcore, Love Triangles, Love/Hate, M/M, Psycho Pass Lemon, Psycho-Pass Season 1 Spoilers, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Sybil System (Psycho-Pass)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:21:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26399335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galateabellator/pseuds/galateabellator
Summary: Sequel to the story :Psycho-Pass:Coping MechanismsInspector Akibara Shizuka got promoted. Her new position is nothing like she hoped it would be.Torn between what she feels for both Kogami and Ginoza, Akibara is still trying to balance her unstable hue. Things will get even more complicated with the arrival of Division One's new Shepherd Two - young Inspector Tsunemori Akane.This story follows the events from Psycho-Pass anime, season 1.
Relationships: Ginoza Nobuchika/Original Female Character(s), Ginoza Nobuchika/Tsunemori Akane, Karanomori Shion/Kunizuka Yayoi, Kougami Shinya/Original Female Character(s), Kougami Shinya/Tsunemori Akane
Comments: 40
Kudos: 44





	1. Pale Turquoise

**PART 1 - Pale Turquoise**

Akibara Shizuka entered her new office.

It hasn’t been that long since she got promoted, but three weeks should have been enough for anyone to get used to their new posture. Right? 

Except… she still couldn’t get used to that office. It was close to Kasei’s, and there was just too much space around her. After sharing her previous office with Division One, her new surroundings just seemed too quiet… and too vast. 

She didn’t bother with keeping plants… for they’d just die under her ‘care’. She knew she’d eventually have to personalize that area, but she was still too lazy to do so. She also delayed sorting her hard-copied cases and all the papyrology. Some of her boxes were still unpacked. She couldn’t bring herself to arrange the office… because she didn’t feel it as her office. And her new position… didn’t feel like a promotion at all. It felt rather like… a confinement cell. 

Because it was just that. Confinement.

She found it funny how she was still heading to Division One’s office per habit, taking the wrong turn each time she entered the bureau. And once she took the wrong turn, she would have to stop for a few seconds… and change her direction, remembering that the position she once held was given to another Inspector. That girl will start working any day now. Shizuka was trying not to think too much about it… but again, there was no helping it. 

She had to wonder… what kind of person this Tsunemori Akane is. 

Shizuka sighed, putting her dark green coat over the chair. She glanced at the city, admiring the view. One thing to like about that office, at least. 

She poured herself a cup of coffee, and started reviewing recent reports on her monitor. There were a few live consultations with her colleagues from Division Three, but nothing too complicated… or too crazy. The crime rate seemingly dropped… and the police officers weren’t as busy as before. Shizuka was somehow relived… thinking how her team… her previous team… won’t have to be too preoccupied at least for the time being. 

She wanted to drop by and see how they were doing. She really did. But, somehow… she couldn’t bring herself to go there. Not yet. Because… if she did… she’d have to put on a brave face. She’d have to smile. And… she was too tired to trying to fake anything. 

For whole three weeks she’s been reinstated, she didn’t get to go out on the field. Not even once. She wondered if there was any need for her to have a Dominator anymore.  
First several days were the hardest. She constantly fought the urge to cry… and withheld that pain inside. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. She wasn’t supposed to feel this alienated. And yet… she did. Just like Kasei planned. 

She went through all the reports, and stopped at specific file. Inspector Ginoza Nobuchika was always the first one to submit his reports. She read it, thinking how he successfully closed another case on his own. It wasn’t a demanding case, but it still required effective and swift action. 

“… was recorded by the street scanner. The suspect refused to take therapy and threatened to jump from the window once he got cornered by Enforcers Kogami and Masaoka…”  
Shizuka was staring at turquoise letters on her screen. Masaoka was the one to stop the suspect from committing suicide. Gino reported fairly, objectively. He didn’t exactly praise the work of Enforcers, but he wasn’t discrediting them in any way either. She liked that about Gino. He could perfectly separate his head from his emotions when his work was on the line. And Kogami… she wondered how Kogami felt as of recently. 

He didn’t call… not even once. The untraceable device was still active, of that she was sure… but Kogami… didn’t call in whole month. She missed having those… late night conversations with him. Just… hearing his voice. There was something soothing in his voice. His touch as well. She missed everything about him.

But, the change was inevitable, really. What she did with Gino… must have affected him more than he was willing to admit. It was, by no means, a small matter. And all three were now in tight spot because of it. It must have been really… awkward to work together now. She wondered if they acted as if everything was as normal as before. She sighed, putting her hand to support her face. What a mess. 

She took a sip of her coffee. Coming to think of it, she only met Gino twice since she was transferred. The first time was at the parking lot… and the second one was in their building. His schedule got a bit hectic so his working pace was changed a few times, enabling them to avoid one another for the time being. 

Strangely enough… they didn’t meet despite living on the same floor. She didn’t know what to make of it. There were still unresolved things between them, but… it appeared those things had to wait.

Other than Ginoza… she saw Karanomori. She went to her lab for the regular checkup. It wasn’t as awkward as Shizuka expected it to be. On the contrary. She felt like everything remained the same once she saw Shion in her lab, smoking. After hearing her relaxing tone, and seeing her laid-back attitude, Shizuka felt very much at ease. 

“Pale turquoise, Aki-chan. Your hue is as good as ever. Nothing is out of the ordinary, and your CC remains low. Are you using prescription pills again?”

Shizuka was thinking about the plastic bottle in her desk. 

“No… I’ve stopped using suppressants. I am on a… different regiment,” Shizuka smiled, fixing threads of her burgundy bob after she put Shion’s scanner off. Shion liked the new look. Her hairstyle was longer, more layered than the previous one. 

“Is it escapism again?” Shion wondered. Shizuka seemed healthier. Less exhausted… less tired… but not exactly in the right mood. Shion didn’t expect her to be either. She knew that leaving Division One would make her melancholic. 

That’s how she presumed Shizuka was using some sort of hue-treatment. She must have dealt with her stress in her standard manner. 

“Escapism indeed,” Shizuka confirmed. It was different this time, though. With all the spare time on her hands, Shizuka decided to take Hitagawa Kana’s recorded holographic sessions to further expand her escapism durability. She had to stop being afraid of the Psycho-Leap. She had to stop postponing the after-effects of her forced recovery from the Butcher case. 

She felt she was ready… after watching her father’s conducted interviews with his patients. She finally felt she was ready to embrace this ability. To finally accept… that she wasn’t like others, never has been, and that she never will be. No matter how many suppressants she took. Instead of being half-assed escapist, she will be the exceptional one. She will have to be. And… if she manages to fully embrace that she is an escapist… without feeling any remorse… she might be able to overcome her anxiety and turn her skill into a weapon, rather than just mere convenience. 

No one knew this… but Shizuka was at war. Firstly with herself… then with Kasei Joshu… and with the Sibyl system itself. After the recent discovery that there were people that Sibyl can’t judge, she felt quite angry. If Sibyl can’t judge everyone equally, it means the system can’t be considered fair. And if the system wasn’t able to be fair, why rely on it?  
There was more than one thing that Sibyl was hiding about its very nature. However, Shizuka wasn’t sure what exactly that was. She was yet to discover. Having Sayo in mechanical department… was just an opportunity she couldn’t waste. Her best friend was discreetly looking at inconsistencies in the system… looking for any clues that didn’t seem to fit. 

And she did it patiently, so she wouldn’t be suspected of snooping around. She had to play it smart. Her hue didn’t suffer for it… because Sayo was more curious about learning things rather than worrying about her color. Sayo was resilient, intelligent girl despite her need to constantly fool around and joke about stuff. She was recently occupied with learning about Bifrost, giving Shizuka all the information she could gather. That part still hasn’t changed. 

This new position at CID might provide useful, Shizuka thought. She might be able to dig even deeper, if she is careful enough. But, in order to achieve that… she will have to have something to rely onto, rather than just putting Sayo through all that trouble. She will have to count on her own hue, regardless of how difficult it may be in the future. And she can’t lose. Against Sibyl… she can’t lose. 

That’s why she needed to completely master her ability. To be able to recover from any kind of shock… or stress. And so… she practiced every day. She got into meditations. Self-hypnosis. Autogenic trainings. It had to work. All her episodes… all her effort… gave her that pale turquoise color that Shion recorded for her latest report. 

“It goes without saying, Aki-chan… that everyone in Division One misses you. You really… shouldn’t have taken that promotion,” she heard the analyst say. There was something rather unusual in Shion’s voice in that moment. Almost as if… she felt a bit sad.

“I miss you all too… but, it is what it is,” Shizuka shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t look so gloomy, Shion. It doesn’t suit you.”

The blonde laughed at Shizuka’s remark. “I guess it doesn’t. Well… come by when you have time. You don’t have to ostracize yourself just because you aren’t in Division One anymore. We are still friends, you know?”

“I hope so,” Shizuka smiled too. “I will come again soon.”

“Please do. I need to pester a proper girl to go shopping with me, instead of always forcing poor Ginoza-kun.” 

The blonde winked. Shizuka smiled, putting her new green coat over her shoulders. 

“Indeed. Let’s buy all the outfits that you like.” 

She greeted Shion on her way out. Her chest tightened, but she ignored it.

Still… she was missing them all so badly. 

\-----------------------------

It was a particularly bad day, that day. She was working the second shift. The rain wouldn’t stop falling the entire afternoon. Her meeting with Kasei was brief. At this point, she was just a consultant who assisted other inspectors with their active cases. Nothing more. Some promotion that was. By the end of that meeting, she felt so infuriated she had to immediately do something about it. 

She went to the gym to vent out. She was beating her sparring doll at the hardest level, and she still felt unrelieved of the pent-up anger. So, this is how he felt. This is how he felt all this time. Cornered… helpless… furious. It was frightening that she had to reach this point to truly understand the depth of his solitude. She still felt awful, so she went to shower. 

When she returned to her office, she found another added report. Another closed case. Gino was working as hard as ever. All of them were. Just… without her. 

It was kind of hurtful that he didn’t ask for her assistance. He hasn’t even come to look for a consultation. She knew he wouldn’t need her for crime-solving of cases of this simplicity… but it only emphasized how meaningless this new position was. Some supervisor she was. 

She closed her eyes… thinking. 

Kagari was probably playing his games on his portable device. Yayoi was checking out the map of the areas that were covered by the street scanners. Masaoka was oiling his metal arm, making it functional for another case. Gino was probably sitting in silence, staring at his monitor. And Kogami… was lost in his thoughts, chasing his old ghost. 

Shizuka inhaled. She could see them all so clearly in her mind. She wanted to smile, but the smile refused to come out. It became the grimace of pain instead.  
Come on. None of them died. You’ve lost team mates before. This isn’t something to stress over for. They will be fine. And you will be fine. You have an objective. Go through with it. 

What a pain. She reached underneath her desk, pulling the box out. She opened it, and took several items from it. A notepad… a digital scanner… the new wrist-com… a recorder. Three photo-frames. She arranged them next to her computer. 

The first frame contained her picture with Mio from her graduation. The second one was with Kogami and Gino after she joined the Division Three to be Kogami’s new partner. Sasayama sneaked into the shot, hugging them all and adding that surprised, yet happy moment, frozen in time forever. 

And the third one… was the most recent, taken shortly after Shizuka joined the Division One. Risa took that photo, sort of to encourage Shizuka’s transit to the new unit after she left Division Two. 

To think she was so nervous… to work by Gino’s side… and to work with Kogami after his demotion again. She thought she’d never fit in with the rest of the team. Who would have thought that she’d end up liking them all so much? 

She smiled sadly, placing that frame as a central frame. She also wiped her eyes. Just in time, because she heard steps. 

“Senior inspector Akibara?” 

Soft voice belonged to a girl. She was petite… dressed in a business suit, white shirt and a pencil skirt. She was fairly well built… as if she was an athlete. She was still feminine, though. She had a nice body. Her tomboyish hairstyle threatened to take away from her attractiveness, but then, those wide, big eyes that exuded honesty substituted any lack of femininity. She had such a sweet appearance, this Tsunemori Akane. Her voice was pleasant too. Shizuka bet Kagari will instantly like her. He had a thing for this type of girls.

“How can I be of assistance, Inspector Tsunemori?” Shizuka placed her elbows on the table, leaning towards Akane from her seat. Time to fake a smile or two, she thought. 

“I was told… to pay you a visit before I go and meet other members. I am here… to formally introduce myself.”

The girl bowed down; somewhat surprised by the fact that Akibara already knew her name.

“I am glad, Inspector. Please, have a seat.” 

“Thanks… but I am good.” 

Tsunemori looked around. Shizuka was glad she at least put one painting in that gloomy space. 

“Kandinsky’s ‘In Blue’ from 1925.”

Small talk could ease this heavy atmosphere.

“It’s… beautiful,” Akane was looking at the painting for a moment longer. She seemed surprised Akibara didn’t use hologram for the display, but a real reproduction of the abstract painting. She looked at Shizuka.

“I hope I will be capable enough to take your position. I will try and honor it the same way you did.” 

Honor it, huh? Shizuka almost laughed, not to Akane’s naive remark, but at the bitter irony of it. 

This was probably Kasei’s deed as well. Making Tsunemori come all the way here… and unintentionally rub salt into Shizuka’s wound. As if… Kasei was hoping she’d make her upset. Jealous, even. Shizuka bet Kasei just wanted to disturb her hue this way.

“You already have the capacity,” Shizuka said, leaning back into her seat. She kept observing the young girl. “After all… your hue and your grades are all exceptional.” 

“I still have a lot to learn,” Tsunemori seemed too modest to Shizuka. “I hope I will manage to do well.” 

“I am sure you will. You will catch up in no time.” 

She wanted to say more. Much more. And give another kind of advice to this girl that was just starting this job. Shizuka’s head was filled with thoughts she couldn’t tell to anyone else. Her hands were tied... and her mouth had to remain shut. For the time being.

She looked at the frame on her desk. 

“Division One is full of capable people. They will take care of you. There’s no need to be nervous, you will be quite safe in their hands. Which reminds me...” 

Shizuka reached for the box under her table once more and pulled an item from it. Then, she walked towards Akane, stepping in front of the girl. She was slightly smaller comparing to Shizuka… but not too much. They were about the same height. 

“My credential badge. I won’t be needing it anymore, so… since you are my successor… you should just add your own data, and use it from now on.”  
Tsunemori’s eyes widened. 

“This…” she hesitantly reached for Shizuka’s hand. She didn’t seem comfortable. Shizuka had to remind herself that she probably looked intimidating to the young Inspector. 

Akibara had those sharp facial features, much like Kiyoka Tezuka… and to someone who didn’t know anything about her, she probably seemed a little bit scary. She didn’t want to come off as scary to this girl, though. 

Akane… had nothing to do with what was happening between Akibara and the Sibyl System. She won’t be collateral, because Shizuka was reasonable enough not to allow her emotions to cloud her judgement. Shizuka opened Akane’s palm and put the holo-badge in it. 

“Are… are you sure you wouldn’t want to keep it as a memento?” the girl asked, rising her eyes towards Shizuka. That observation told Shizuka a lot about the girl. That she was kind. And considerate. 

“I already got the new one, being promoted and all. Just… take it and copy your data to it.” 

In truth… it was much harder to hand it over than she thought it would be. 

“Thank you, Seni…”

“Not a senior. Just an inspector. However… since we’ve been properly introduced… please, just call me Akibara.” 

Akane opened the badge and waited for a moment. Then, she activated her bracelet… and added the data to the badge, copying her registration number and other requirements. 

“May I ask something personal?” Shizuka couldn’t help but wonder.

“Y-yes?” 

“Why did you choose the Ministry of Welfare?” 

Having seven hundred points on her entrance exam meant that Akane could choose between three ministries… and work other jobs. She thought about it. Her response was simple. 

“I thought this might be the place where I can contribute the most.” 

She seemed so… decent. Nice. There was no doubt she will fit well with the rest of the team. Shizuka couldn’t help… but feel slightly envious. And she disliked herself for it. 

“If you need anything… you can talk to me. Should you need any sort of assistance, I will be happy to help,” Shizuka said. 

“Thank you, Inspector Akibara. I am looking forward to our cooperation.” 

“Likewise.” 

Shizuka offered her hand to Tsunemori. Inspector accepted it, and they shook hands. Shortly after, Tsunemori’s wrist-com started beeping, and the girl looked at Shizuka, feeling the slight panic as the sound repeated. It was an emergency… the very day Tsunemori got posted. First day, and it’s already an active case. How unfortunate. 

“I have to…” 

“I understand.” 

“Thanks for giving me the badge,” Akane put it in her pocket.

“It belongs to Shepherd Two… and it’s you now.” 

Akane noticed how Shizuka’s voice softened. 

“Inspector… I…”

“You’ve got this,” Shizuka said. Tsunemori bowed her head once again. 

“I will do my best!” she saluted… and then… she headed out in a rush. Shizuka looked through the window, thinking how the rain got even heavier. 

No matter how she felt about the whole situation, Shizuka wasn’t going to let Kasei create any sort of animosity towards this girl. Instead… the amount of animosity that Shizuka already harbored for Kasei just increased considerably.

She picked her coat, putting it over her shoulders. She had enough of idly sitting down, flicking trough reports. 

Suddenly… her own bracelet started beeping, in the very same manner like Akane’s. Her holographic display opened up, showing up a name.

Her heart skipped a beat. Her finger trembled before she pressed the button to activate the line.

“Abolition block,” he said, in that cold, calm tone that she sometimes disliked. But, this time… it was the most welcoming sound of them all. 

“Already on my way,” she said. 

\-----------------------------------

Akane was late. She was running, trying to catch her breath as she was breaking through the crowd that gathered in front of the abolition block. She showed her badge to the mascots of CID that were blocking the entrance, heavily panting. The rain was soaking her hair… her clothes… but she run towards the tall, slim man who was already at the scene. 

“Excuse me! Are you Inspector Ginoza?” she asked, just in case. He turned to face her, closing the line on his watch. He just ended the call. 

“That’s me. What a bad luck that you have to deal with an incident right after you got posted.”

Akane still had a hard time to breathe from running so much. However, she saluted to Ginoza, and introduced herself to her new partner.

“I’m Tsunemori Akane. I’ve been assigned to the CID as of today! Pleased to meet…”

Ginoza interrupted her with calm tone, but sharp gaze. 

“Sorry… but the CID is very short on manpower. I can’t treat you like a newbie.”

In that moment… she somehow knew this job would be nothing like what she’s been prepared for during her studies.

\----------------------------------------

She took the shortcut to arrive sooner. She risked the speeding drone, for she drove too fast. The area was restricted, and there were warning mascots that were guarding entrances and exits from the buildings, marking the area and keeping people away.

In the distance, there were two figures. A man and a woman, both soaked much like she was at this point. She smiled at the thought that no member of CID knew how to carry umbrella, herself included. She reached for her pocket and shown her own credentials to the mascot. 

They let her through. She walked towards the scene, approaching Ginoza and Akane’s standing point. Ginoza was informing Akane about Okura Nobuo, filling her in the necessary details. The girl seemed shocked by Okura’s refusal to take treatment, as well as his probable usage of incompatible drugs. 

Gino then threw the CID jacket at the girl, noticing only then. The long, dark-green coat. Hands in pockets. Shizuka was heading towards them in long steps. She was removing strands of her hair from her face. 

The sound of vehicle made them all look turn their heads. 

“A paddy wagon…” Akane uttered to herself. As she was occupied by watching the vehicle that was parking, Gino looked at Shizuka, taking his own jacket out of his bag. 

“Don’t meddle,” he warned, handing her his jacket but Shizuka shook her head. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” 

Shizuka came prepared. She reached inside of her coat and pulled the bag out. From the bag, she pulled her own jacket out, following the procedure. She removed the coat… and put the jacket on. Ginoza was doing the same. 

“She is the new Shepherd Two. She has to do things by the book,” he remarked. 

“You mean, per your instructions,” Shizuka dropped her coat next to his own, and reached for her hair. She tied it into a ponytail, inhaling the smell of the rain on the asphalt. 

“I mean according to Sibyl’s norms.” 

That was just like him. She couldn’t believe she missed this side of him as well. 

“I am glad to see you too.” 

Akane saw Shizuka only then.

“Inspector! What are you…” 

“Just supervising. Pay no attention to me,” Shizuka smiled warmly to the girl. “And don’t think of this as some sort of test. I am merely here to assist, should this case require it of me.” 

Paddy wagon opened its doors. The section with Dominators opened.

Ginoza was fixing his jacket as he was talking to Akane.

“Don’t think that the guys you’re about to meet are humans like us. Their PP crime coefficients exceeded the regulation value. They are people of bankrupt character.” 

“Hey,” Shizuka glared at Gino. Even if it was considered normal to label them this way, it was still too much not to consider them humans. 

“Normally, they’d be completely isolated as latent criminals…”

His voice faded in the distance as Shizuka was now observing the wagon. She could see Kagari’s red hair… Kunizuka’s hight ponytail. Shizuka’s heart stopped again. There was an overwhelming sensation of seeing them all again.

“They are beasts used to hunt beasts,” Ginoza spoke somewhere in the distance. Shizuka made a few steps in their direction.

“They are what we call ‘Enforcers’…” 

They started to get out of the wagon, one by one… and each in their own pace. Kunizuka was the first one to see her.

“Akibara-san.” 

Yayoi was surprised… just for a moment. 

“Kunizuka. It’s good…” 

Kunizuka approached her… and slowly hugged her. It was a short hug… but more than Shizuka hoped she’d receive from someone as stoic and cold as Yayoi was. This must mean… 

“You too,” she said. Just as she moved by, Kagari put his arm around her shoulders. 

“A true escapist, aren’t you? The whole month passed, you know!” 

“I know. Sorry… I was just… coming around.” 

She squeezed him shortly. It was Masaoka’s turn to greet her. 

“You look well, Shizu-chan. That solo work must have been productive.” 

“Nowhere near, pops. I wish I could say I was doing better, but… it’s actually just… pretty boring office work.” 

He ruffled her hair with his hand. 

“Let’s have a drink sometime soon.” 

He headed towards the others as well. He was curious to see the new Inspector too. 

And finally… there was…

“Shinya,” she whispered. 

“Shizuka,” he spoke as well. 

He wasn’t looking at her. He was just standing… with his hands in his pockets... unable to pass her by… but also unable to face her. Others already gathered in front of Ginoza. And the new girl. Kogami was looking at her.

“How is it?” he asked. “The new position?” 

“Just as bad as you presume it to be.” 

More silence. 

“I miss you.” 

He finally looked at her, turning those grey eyes towards hers. It wasn’t… ‘missed’… or ‘have missed’… it was present tense. Miss. She was missing him too. Every day. 

“I miss you too.”

He looked at Gino. Then at the girl. He stepped towards them. 

“Don’t be hard on her. She is only just beginning,” he heard Shizuka. 

Kogami didn’t say anything. He joined the rest of the group, waiting for instructions.

\-------------------------------

Much like she assumed, Kagari instantly expressed he liked Tsunemori, making her blush a little. He protested when Gino decided that they should split in two groups, deciding that Kagari and Kunizuka should go with him, and Masaoka and Kogami with Inspector Tsunemori.

One would think he did it because he had personal issues with both of his Enforcers… but he merely did it to provide better learning experience for Akane. Gino could put his own matters aside when it came down to his job. And, when it came down to experience… both Kogami and Masaoka… were resilient, and both of them were Inspectors before. Gino merely thought Akane would learn faster if she learned from them. 

She could also learn what not to do, observing Kogami. He hoped she wouldn’t repeat Shizuka’s mistakes.

“Should I go with them… or...?” Shizuka stood by Gino’s side, taking her Dominator from the charger. 

“Let Kogami and Masaoka handle this. Don’t assist her. Don’t help her. Not yet. She has to do this on her own.”

Maybe he was right. But again… Okura Nobuo wasn’t someone who should be handled by a newbie.

She was learning about Dominators. Masaoka was explaining the instructions. But then… Shizuka noticed… the way she was looking at Kogami.

And there it was… that magnetism of his, working his way under everyone’s skin, regardless of whether he intended it or not. Tsunemori seemed… in awe. And Shizuka couldn’t blame her… not in the slightest. She’s been there too many times. It was for a moment… but Shizuka caught Tsunemori’s expression. There was no doubt.

“Do you think she’ll be able… to tame the Hound?” Gino asked, getting close to Shizuka from behind. He leaned over her. He didn’t do anything, and yet… the tingling sensation crept into her, reminding her of the night that changed everything. His voice changed as well. She realized she was losing her breath. 

“Gino…” 

“After the case is over… we need to talk.” 

She wasn’t sure it was a good idea. Kogami was telling something to Akane. Shizuka paid attention, trying to hear what was talking about. 

“So when you don’t like how I do things, use that and shoot me.” 

Bold. Was he so sure that the girl wouldn’t pull the trigger if she had to? Well… Shizuka couldn’t. It made her look bad in front of other members, back then. 

“… the Dominator will work on us too,” Kogami coldly said, leaving Masaoka to deal with Akane’s confusion. 

“Fool,” Gino uttered. 

“Damn it,” Shizuka said. Everybody split, searching for Okura. Shizuka went after Kogami, and Kagari and Kunizuka went ahead. Gino followed them while Masaoka was instructing Akane on how to perceive the case… and their surroundings. 

“Kogami… you shouldn’t have told her that,” Shizuka said, and Shinya just shrugged his shoulders.

“Did I say something wrong? I am an enforcer. She’s an inspector. If she dislikes how I operate, then she…”

“It’s not the issue here. The issue is your tone. She is your owner now. You mustn’t…” 

_You mustn’t disobey. You mustn’t act out of Sibyl’s will. You will be killed… you fool._

“It’s bad enough that you left, Shizuka. Don’t tell me how to treat someone who is here to do your work.” 

She dragged behind him, feeling her heart sink. So, he was hurt. Still. Like she was. She would have been glad… but she wasn’t. She was just sad to see him this way. 

“You have to let her learn. You have to treat her well.” 

He stopped. “I will treat her normally. Don’t get so worked up over a few statements.” 

He kept walking, and Shizuka followed, observing the surroundings. 

Kagari was the first one to find the target. He even fired the Paralyzer, but Okura was on drugs and it didn’t work. Since he took a hostage, a young woman that went through severe trauma before they arrived, Okura decided to use her as human shield. Paralyzer then switched into Lethal Eliminator, threatening to annihilate the girl as well. 

The Oracle activated… signalizing to everyone that Okura was beyond rehabilitation. It meant that he should be annihilated. Everyone moved again. Masaoka and Akane caught up to Okura first… and he made them drop Dominators by threatening to harm the girl again.

“Psycho hazard,” Kogami said. “She’s contaminated.” 

The victim… Okura’s hostage… had dark blue hue and CC of 110. 

“Kogami… don’t do anything rash,” Shizuka warned, going after him. 

“I will just do… what Hounds do.” 

“Using Masaoka and Tsunemori as decoys while we approach him from the side?” 

“Careful now… thinking like an Enforcer… may lower your hue down to mine.” 

The way he said it… the way he looked at her…

“He took your bait,” Shizuka simply stated, referring to Okura. 

Kogami was hard to chase once he started running like that. Shizuka aimed her Dominator at Nobuo… but the blast would obliterate the girl too. The moment was wrong. She cursed under her breath, getting down the same stairs that Kogami used. 

Meanwhile… Nobuo tried to use the Dominator to shoot Masaoka… or Akane. He dropped the hostage girl while trying to shoot. He was also really surprised to learn that Dominators couldn’t be fired by just anyone. 

In that surprise… he didn’t see. Kogami lifted his own Dominator towards Okura.

“My deepest sympathies.” 

He pulled the trigger… killing the target. Shizuka lowered her own gun. Kogami was always faster. The hostage girl screamed. Akane seemed a bit shaken… but also relieved.  
Shizuka put her Dominator in the holster, approaching Masaoka. 

“Damn… using an old man and a newbie as a decoy… you sure have some big ones, don’t you, Kou?” Masaoka remarked. Shizuka cleared her throat, crossing her arms over her chest. Kogami looked at Shizuka. He didn’t have to smile to show how he was amused by that taunt… and her reaction. He had that cheeky, daring stare that made her stare back at him in sheer stubbornness. So what if he was all big in all the right places? 

“I’ve just been earning my paycheck, pops,” he said, while Masaoka reached for Okura’s severed arm to pull his Dominator out of it. The hostage still screamed, horrified by their relaxed tones. 

They must have looked like psychopaths to her. Just as Shizuka wanted to say something to comfort the girl… Akane approached her.

“We are with the PSB. You are safe now. Please, rest at ease! Calm down… we are here to save you!” 

“No… no…” 

It turned out… her CC rose over 160. Everyone measured her hue. Enforcers stood there… with their guns out… and the girl was freaking. Which meant… 

“Akane…” Shizuka whispered. 

“Don’t use violence on her!” Akane plead, stopping Masaoka from pulling the trigger. “She should be taken in protective custody!” 

Shizuka offered her hand to the hostage.

“Please… come…” 

“NO!” 

The woman headed back, terrified. In attempt to flee from Enforcers… she fell down the stairs. It was a nasty fall. 

“Masaoka… Akane…” 

Shizuka tried to reason with them, but Akane insisted that the victim should be processed in peaceful manner, while Masaoka insisted on the Paralyzer. They went on… and on… while Kogami went after the woman. 

Shizuka went after Kogami once more. 

She’d never seen him that way. Never. He never seemed that cold… that emotionless… and that ready to pull the trigger. 

The woman threatened to set herself on fire… lying in a pool of spilt gasoline. She held a lighter… ready to make everything explode. And Kogami just stood there… over her… with Dominator pointed at her. 

“Shinya?” Shizuka’s Dominator was in her hand even before she stopped to think about it. “Shinya… that’s enough.” 

“Isn’t this… a familiar scene?” he asked, turning his irises towards Shizuka. “More than once. More than one crime… you held that gun pointed at me and you weren’t able to shoot.” 

“What is this really about?” Shizuka asked, looking at the man she still loved. “Come on… this isn’t like you. Shinya…” 

“It’s exactly like me. I am a latent criminal. And this is what latent criminals do.” 

“I won’t be pretentious… and assume this has anything to do with my transfer. But, I will ask you… why are you behaving this way?” 

He looked at her.

“Because it’s how an Enforcer should act, Shizuka. Shoot when he’s supposed to shoot. Do what he needs to do. Just like you… an Inspector… must behave as well.” 

Yeah... right. 

“Why, Shinya?” 

“Because I won’t do anything that may put you into jeopardy,” he said. “If it says… that I have to shoot… then that’s exactly what I will do.” 

Her hand trembled. “Kogami… don’t… I am asking you not to shoot…” 

“What do they have against you, Shizuka?” he asked. So, that’s what this was all about. 

“I can’t… I told you, I can’t… tell you…”

“Then it’s worse than I thought,” he exclaimed. 

Dominator was glowing. 

“Don’t make me shoot you. Please. For all we’ve been… don’t make me pull the trigger,” she said. 

“I won’t. But… there’s someone who needs to learn… what exactly she has to deal with.” 

Akane. Was this… to see how Akane would act... react? 

More silence. And more of his detached, cold stares. Shizuka’s hand was getting heavy. 

“Kogami-san!” the voice was heard. He turned towards the young Inspector. 

“Please don’t,” she pleaded, referring to the woman covered in gas. “She’s the victim here.” 

Not even her tone… her sweet voice… appealed to Kogami. His hand was firmly aimed… ready to fire the lethal shot. 

“Akibara-san… please… reason with him…” Akane’s tone made her feel even worse to how she already felt. 

Kogami looked at Shizuka. Masaoka also looked at his former owner. Kogami dared her, she realized. It was as if… he was telling Shizuka…

“Enforcer Kogami… is just acting according to Sibyl’s will,” Shizuka said, lowering her Dominator. Kogami’s gaze was still glued to her. 

“You are an Inspector. Act like one,” Shizuka said. “You have to carry out the will of Sibyl.” 

He slightly lowered his head. Good, he thought. You can still read me well. 

I hope you know what you are doing, Shinya. 

Kogami’s eyes slid towards the woman on the floor. Akane warned him. She did. But… once he was starting to pull the trigger… she screamed in distress.

“DON’T!” 

She fired the shot. She did what Shizuka never could… and Kogami dropped down on the floor, only half-surprised. After all… there was no better way… to show a rookie exactly what she was getting herself into. While Akane reasoned with the hostage… calming her down… Shizuka went towards Masaoka. 

“Damn, Shizu-chan… what an ugly first case.” 

“Indeed, Masu-san. Ugly indeed.” 

“You and him… are still a handful, though,” old Tomomi smiled at Shizuka. “Still communicating in that way only you two understand. How come you’re still an Inspector?” 

“I wonder about that every day,” she admitted. “But he’s still an ass. I am going to have a chat with him once he wakes up. Seriously, being so mean towards the rookie…” 

“He’s been rebellious ever since you left.” 

“He was rebellious even when I was with you. So… that’s hardly on me,” she smiled.

“Well… true. But, don’t go too hard on him. Paralyzer shots hurt like Hell.” 

“I hope they do.” 

Akane… was such a softie. Gentle soul. But also… a badass. 

The shot towards the hostage girl surprised everyone. Tsunemori most of all. 

“Inspector Tsunemori,” Ginoza’s group arrived at the scene, with Ginoza being the one to pull the trigger that incapacitated the woman, “I’ll expect you to thoroughly explain your handling of this situation in the report.” 

Well. There was that, Shizuka thought. Gino is going to go really hard on her for this. 

“Inspector just wanted to try another method,” Shizuka tried to justify her actions.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion, Senior inspector. I want an explanation from my new partner, not the previous one.” 

Shizuka shrugged her shoulders. 

“Suit yourself, Ginoza-san.” 

She headed towards Akane, putting a hand on her back. 

“Poor thing. Getting so upset over something so trivial as shooting someone like Kogami. Why would anyone stress over something like that? You did us all a favor.”

Ginoza frowned. Kagari laughed. “My, my…” 

“This newbie we got sure is a piece of work,” Masaoka laughed as well. 

There was no other way, Shizuka thought. Until she talks to Kogami… she will keep on feeling bad about shooting him. She just hoped he’d wake soon enough to wipe off Akane's gloomy expression.

\-------------------------------------------

“Akibara,” Gino approached her as she was removing her jacket, and putting her new coat back on. 

“Ginoza,” she coldly stated, putting her stuff in the vehicle. Gino wasn’t going to discuss the case in front of Enforcers. He was about to accompany them back to the Bureau. He already sent Akane home to calm down. But, he wasn’t done with talking to Shizuka. 

“My place, in half an hour. No excuses.”


	2. Oxymoron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Simplest of things end up being the most complex.**
> 
> _Warning: Smut ahead, because Gino deserved it for all of his troubles in part 1 of Shizuka-Pass and I am not even sorry. And yes, I need Jesus for being such a pervy writer xD_
> 
> _Per usual, comments are greatly appreciated, I would like to hear what you think and what you'd like to see next. I apologize if someone was offended in any way. Also, kudos motivate me to update faster (jk, this is totally optional xD). Stay safe and take care during these challenging times._

**PART 2 – Oxymoron**

That prolonged ride home was agonizing to Shizuka. Primarily because it was advised by Sibyl to drive slower during storms, and secondly… because she was anxious about meeting him outside of the job. She knew she’d eventually had to face him, but having to face him after such a case… was something she wasn’t really prepared for.

In all honesty… how can anyone be prepared to face their… undefined partner (in lack of better expression)? She really disliked the term “sex friends”, or “friends with benefits”. But, how do you describe someone who used to be a close friend, and then turned into a surprisingly good lay? She didn’t want to make a big deal out of it… but, it turned out to be much bigger issue that she’d imagine it to be. 

She really believed she could handle the situation like a grown up. Instead, she caught herself acting like a teenager, torn between two men. And now… this meeting… it wasn’t just the two colleagues discussing the case. It will be more. It always is with Nobuchika. 

She could have told him something. Anything. That they could have meet during the break tomorrow, and in broad daylight. At her office, once he submits reports from unit one. They could have gone to the cafeteria… or some coffee shop. They could have met in any other place… at any other time… because, regardless of how messy the Okura case has been… they could have simply left it for the next day. Like with Akane. 

This wasn’t necessary. But again… they had the tendency to look at things quite differently. Just one more thing to disagree about. Meeting him at his home... will be uneasy. Tense, even. But, it’s not like Nobuchika didn’t know how it would make her feel. It’s more likely that he decided to call her there precisely because he knew how it would affect her. 

She had two options. To refuse it, and look like a coward in front of him… or accept it, go with it and play it cool, hoping she wouldn’t lose her composure along the way. She hoped for the later. It still made her anxious, though.

So many things, so many conflicting emotions were still unresolved. They will have to be resolved soon. She was aware of that. But, it only caused the additional pressure. She thought some distance from both Gino and Kou would give her some clarity, but she was still just as indecisive about making that decision as before… if not even more. 

The most logical choice would be… to finally call things off with Kogami and try having something with Ginoza. Something… because calling it a relationship would be too much, considering how they started off. 

She sighed, putting both her hands on the wheel, and leaning her forehead onto it. She had a hunch of how things were about to develop. She had to get ready for either an enormous fight… or something entirely different.

And that promise of different… was slightly scary… and exciting. 

She stepped on, starting driving faster. If she learned anything from dating someone like Shinya… was to rush towards problems head on, in order to solve it sooner rather than later. 

\------------------------------------

It seemed like it will be a fight. Gino was already in the bad mood when he opened the door - she could tell by his expression. 

“You are really something, calling this meeting right now. Couldn’t it have waited for tomorrow?” she asked, untying the belt on her coat, removing it from her shoulders.

Without a word, he took it from her and placed it next to his own coats. She unzipped her heeled boots, placing them next to his pair of perfectly shined shoes. He was always so neat that he almost put her to shame. His suits and shirts were always perfectly ironed. His hair was always perfectly styled and well-groomed. He was one of those men who took care of their outside appearance… though, wearing glasses gave him much stricter, and much sharper look. Which was probably what he aimed for, considering how he was bullied in his youth. Now, as a figure of authority, he was exuding power.

That was the thing about Nobuchika… despite his generally shy, almost awkward personality, he always had that serious, almost menacing presence. But this appearance made people think… how this person wasn’t someone you could mess with. As of recently, that appearance was supported by the number of cases he single-handedly closed. His record was now officially the best among Inspectors at CID. Ginoza was truly at the top of the elite in the police.

However… his appearance changed once he got to his home. At home, Gino was just a sweet guy, tending to his dog and his plants, studying classic Russian literature and eating baked goods. Once he got out of his formal suits, he’d become the Nobuchika she grew up with. Shared her youth with. And fell in love with. 

“Are you just going to stand there?” he asked. 

He waited for her to head into the apartment first, as if he was prepared for her to run off the instant things heat up between them. 

“Of course not,” she responded stubbornly, but she didn’t move an inch. She expected this to affect her, just not how intensely. His tie was loosened around his collar. The first few buttons of his shirt were opened as he began removing his clothes once he got into his home. His glasses were still on… as coverage of his eyes, so similar to his father’s. It was such a shame to hide his eyes. They were probably the most alluring thing about him.

Was he even aware… of how attractive, how handsome he was? No. He might never even be… unless someone shows it to him. She softly bit into her lower lip. Will it have to be her? Risa? Or someone… else? Like that young Inspector that has just started working with him?

“After you, then,” he said, piercing her with his sharp eyes. His fingers were closed around the doorknob, he waited to close the door behind them. 

She held her breath. She had to calm her heartbeats that were already getting faster.

“Regarding this case…” she started, feeling him approaching her from behind. Then, much smaller footsteps, coming from the opposite direction, made her jump a little. The dog rushed towards Shizuka, circling around her legs. She reached for Dime, stroking his fur. She leaned down to pet him, hugging him along the way.

“Tsunemori Akane made a mistake during her first case,” Gino stated, accompanying Shizuka and Dime into the living room. “Okura Nobuo… messed that woman to the point where she became a latent criminal herself.” 

“Okura Nobuo raped that woman. How would anyone think she could remain unaffected after such a trauma?” Shizuka asked. Ginoza poured some grains into Dime’s bowl, and his dog eagerly ran towards him, licking Gino’s hand before starting to eat. Gino gently caressed his dog, a simple gesture of affection he was quite used to. So much it was subconscious at that level. She found it endearing, this side of Ginoza. To see someone so harsh… being so gentle… gave the whole another dimension to him. 

Not like she saw if for the first time… but she always found it charming. 

“She was registered as a criminal. Tsunemori should have shot the Paralyzer.”

“You haven’t been there, Gino. If Tsunemori shot it any sooner…” 

“It’s completely illogical that after everything we’ve been through you take Tsunemori’s side in this. Weren’t you the one who decided to follow Sibyl’s will after you became senior Inspector? Wasn’t the right decision to pull the trigger? Didn’t Kogami also choose to shoot that woman on spot?” 

“Kogami choose to follow the instructions of the gun, yes. But, Kogami also wanted to see how the new Inspector would react. He practically challenged her… to see whether she’d be able to pull the trigger. But he hesitated, Gino… he hesitated because that woman wasn’t beyond saving.” 

“Since we are talking about your… well, my Hound now… let me give you some insight that I didn’t write down in my reports for Kasei and you.” 

He walked over to his kitchen, taking two cups out. 

“Kogami’s behavior… changed drastically since you decided to take your… well, let’s stick to the word ‘promotion’. He blindly followed everything that was required of him, sure… but he also became aggressive along the way. He became even more violent… and his hue got darker.” 

Shizuka, who was standing by his side… had to sit down next to his kitchen table. 

“His hue…” 

“His crime coefficient also rose. You pointed your Dominator at him. You must have seen.” 

“N… no… I was too shocked by having to point it at him. I didn’t… read…” 

“Because you wouldn’t have pulled that trigger. The thought never crossed your mind, or you would have read his statistics. You never intended, never even for a second… to shoot Kogami.” 

He put the cup in front of her, and poured some hot liquid in it. 

“Are you disappointed?” Shizuka asked, accepting the hot cocoa. The drops were sliding down his window sims. Occasional lightning painted the indigo sky in purple. 

“Why would I be?” Gino sat next to her, stretching a bit in his chair. Tall people tended to do that when they were a bit cramped in their seats. 

“You didn’t want him to get shot,” Shizuka realized, and her tone was a bit too happy about that fact. “Despite what you may feel for Kogami… you still…” 

“Don’t read into it more than you should, Shizuka. I just wasn’t happy about how Tsunemori could shoot one of her new subordinates, especially who did nothing wrong, sort to say. Kogami’s instructions were clear. She had no reason to shoot.” 

“Kogami’s instructions were cruel,” Shizuka corrected him. “And this statement is contradicting my report, for I will write down that he acted completely as he should. But, I am telling you this not as your colleague, but as your…” 

She stopped herself from saying it. He would have hated to hear it once again. 

“… well, as your previous partner who confides in you,” she ended, and he frowned, leaning onto the table. “I had to tell her… Akane… that Kogami’s instructions were to pull that trigger. Much like he did, to perform his duty. But the cold, hard truth is… that Akane did well to shoot Shinya. He knows it as well. Believe me… he delayed shooting that woman, whether he knows it or not, and I pretty much doubt that Kogami is someone who doesn’t know what he is doing.” 

She skipped the part where Shinya practically instructed her to stand down and let Akane handle him. That part would just imply that Shizuka was still very much connected to Shinya in ways that he wouldn’t appreciate. 

The silent mutual understanding… that they always relied on. 

“Are you saying she actually did well to shoot Shinya?” 

“I am saying he knew the risk, and he still took it.”

Gino sighed. Dime walked past them, finished with his dinner. He went into his box to sleep since it was so late.

“You… actually approve of what she did. You and him both. How ironic.” 

“Indeed. Kogami for sure acted as some rebel, despite acting according to Sibyl’s estimation. His owner told him to stop, but he refused. He was challenging his own Inspector’s authority. But, he actually did it to see… whether she would be able to act against the Sibyl’s verdict or not.”

“And in that… he risked getting shot not just by her… but by you too. I saw you holding your Dominator,” Ginoza remarked. “But regardless of how you act now… he knows you still aren’t as complacent to Sibyl and that you wouldn’t shoot him. And I know it too,” he said. “Not just because you couldn’t shoot Shinya… I do believe, if situation was grave enough, you could do it now. You just thought Akane’s decision was right.” 

Ginoza knew her better than she assumed he would. He never understood her like Kogami could… but he was starting to understand. Or admitting that he could understand her way. It was some progress. 

“I did tell her that Kogami is acting under instructions, and that she should act as an Inspector,” Shizuka pointed out, still mentally beating herself for it. But, since she had to act like a supervising Inspector, it was required of her to act that way towards Akane.

“Contradicting yourself indeed. It seems you are the best at contradictions, which is you are able to work under Sibyl despite all your conflicting emotions,” he took a sip, removing his glasses and putting them on the table next to his cup. 

“You could say I was born that way,” she smiled as well, taking a sip of her cocoa too. 

“Are you referring to Astrology now? I thought it was categorized as cheap entertainment. Much like MBTI personality tests,” he pointed out. A true ISTJ, as Saiga pointed out. Skeptic, and analytical, relying on statistics. 

MBTI was considered ‘cheap entertainment’ by psychologists as well in the past, but parts of it were still incorporated into psychological evaluations that Sibyl took. Even Saiga took parts of it when forming criminal profiles. 

It was just advised to be avoided… by Sibyl. And so, Gino didn’t appreciate it as something that should be taken in a serious manner. Only the Oracle was supposed to be taken seriously, despite it was an oxymoron because predictions were also Sibyl’s way of handling people. Luckily (or unluckily for the system) people like Shizuka could afford to get more into it without getting their hues soiled. However… Gino didn’t want to risk to analyze any of those on his own. She was thinking about it. 

“Long time ago, both categories were considered cheap entertainment. But, Astrology was also considered science by the ancient scholars, and MBTI were taken seriously by some of the finest psychologists throughout history. Even now… Sibyl incorporates parts of both during personality and partnership evaluations,” she, who studied available information of Sibyl’s calculations, was aware of how much personality types played part in forming significant relationships. She even did a research during her University days on this. 

“Sayo really got you into that, I see,” he just drank more, withholding sarcastic remarks to himself. But, he didn’t have to make them in order for her to know how he felt about it. 

Sayo did get her into charts, but it was more about general verdicts and psychological profiles she could make, and something else got her into studying Astrology more. 

“Actually, Sibyl did. The Oracle’s comparisons have a pattern that is much like natal chart comparative analysis. For instance… you will find that Sibyl’s comparatives always resemble natal charts comparisons.” 

“You are telling me that all water signs go well with water signs, or earth signs. That all air signs go well with fire signs. It’s not credible, and I honestly doubt that Sibyl relies so much onto something like that,” he remarked. And it was a point well made. 

“There’s more to it than merely comparing sun signs. I think you are one of the rare Scorpios who aren’t interested to parade their sign to others,” she smiled again. 

“Just because you are always contradicting yourself and always have to stress over decisions, doesn’t mean you have to categorize yourself as Libra. You are much more than what your chart displays.” 

“I agree, we both are. Nonetheless, it’s still interesting,” she planned to end it there since it was pointless to bring something like this in the first place to Gino. 

She was Libra, sure… and he was a Scorpio. Kogami was Leo, hence Gino’s remark about air signs getting along with fire signs. But, it was never that simple. Based on natal analysis, she was surprisingly more like Ginoza than she was even aware. And while she was well matched with Kogami, even better than with Ginoza… she still had so many placings in Scorpio that her… situation… with him… was almost inevitable. 

Astrologically she well matched with Gino. Even better matched with Kogami. That’s why the percentage of Sibyl estimations were around 80-90% all the time with both of these men. But, it all depended on which parts of their charts they were acting on. 

She was quite shocked to learn that the number climbed higher to Gino’s favor, because she was still of liker mind to Kou than she was to Gino. But, if Sibyl said so…

“Are you going to make it hard for Tsunemori?” she asked, getting back to the topic they should be discussing. 

“What do you mean ‘hard’? I am merely treating her as I would any other partner of mine.” 

“Precisely. Don’t treat her as you’d treat someone new. Cut her some slack instead. This first case was Hell for someone who just got out of the Academy,” Shizuka leaned onto her hand, looking at him. 

“I have no time to treat her any other way. She will have to learn as we go.” 

“I could help… if you want.”

It took some courage to propose that, even if it was her position now. His pride won’t allow her to just… get back like nothing changed drastically. 

“Like I said… she has to learn. Having you baby her is not going to do her any good.” 

“Neither will you being all strict and harsh. You are quite hard mentor to have, Nobuchika.” 

“Speaking from experience?” 

“Don’t get offended… because I don’t mean it that way. I just think…” 

“… that Tsunemori needs to be treated gently. I know. But, this line of work is not for gentle types, Shizuka. They break rather easy.” 

“I don’t believe she’s soft. I just think you could have more tact while dealing with…” 

“Your replacement. You can say it, Shizuka. You are worried I would give her hard time because she is your replacement.” 

“No. Don’t just presume that,” it was her turn to glare at him. “That’s not how I think of her. She is just someone who needs to fit in as soon as possible.” 

“With you leaving so abruptly, all of us had to get used to the fact that we have to deal with someone new, so don’t worry. All of us are professionals, despite our personal relationship with you. We will all treat Tsunemori according to her new position.”

She was relieved to hear that. 

“However… I can see your point. Kogami wasn’t really fond of working with someone new, much like the others weren’t. I believe he was acting out precisely because he was enraged, despite of what you may think. Your departure did affect all of us. Some more than the others. Nevertheless… that doesn’t necessarily mean we would bully the new girl,” Ginoza exclaimed. 

“I didn’t think either of you would,” she rolled her eyes. “I told you. It’s not how I think would happen. I just think you can be a hard-ass who gets really strict with his subordinates.” 

Her unapologetic look didn’t bother him. It was almost nostalgic, really. 

She sighed, thinking… how she could have done more for her than just buy a soda and tap her twice on the back as she was sitting there, shook by the whole event. But, Shizuka had to tend to her own mess, and had to deal with a bigger issue. Gino. 

“Maybe it’s for the better if she learns from someone else and not you,” she teased, to what Ginoza frowned, giving her the warning stare. Shizuka just smiled wider. 

“Someone like you, I presume?” he asked, leisurely putting his arm over the chair as he took more comfortable position. She had to think about something else in order not to think about what his posture was doing to her. 

“Hell, no. I am the last person she should learn from,” she admitted, thinking how Tsunemori had all the capacity to learn on her own after what she demonstrated. In fact, Shizuka learned from her this time. That she should shoot any Enforcer, regardless of the personal involvement. Risa was already like that. Akane was obviously the same, though she had no personal involvement with Shinya. Well… not yet. 

Something about the whole thing… made Shizuka think that Akane will probably fall for Shinya’s charm sooner rather than later. Any person… well, almost any… would fall for him anyway. Or, that’s what Shizuka’s biased perspective was, seeing how she was all those years ago. He was easy to like, and even easier to admire, despite his circumstances. Everything about Shinya was easily impressive. Gino was looking through his window now, covering half of his face with his hand as he supported his head with it. 

“He’ll be fine,” he uttered.

“Is that... you trying to comfort me?” she asked, finding it cute. To think he was still worried about Shinya even now… “or you trying to comfort yourself instead? Or… both?” 

Nobuchika sighed. 

“Must you thoroughly analyze everything I say?” 

“You didn’t deny it,” she remarked, confirming his earlier statement of her. She did have to analyze, but such was the mind of any inspector. 

“I didn’t have to, for you already know it all. Don’t you?” 

He put both of his hands under his chin. 

“Let me ask you something,” he said, observing her expression. He made a pause on purpose, knowing it would make her uncomfortable.

“Make it about the case, Inspector,” she refused to look aside, she stared directly in his eyes. This was a game. A dangerous, alluring game… and she would have been a fool if she hadn’t presumed something like this would happen. 

“We are done with the case, Inspector,” he returned the favor, staring deeply into her irises, making her stomach recoil. “No more beating around the bush. No more idle or professional talk. We still have something… rather personal to settle.” 

That annoying glare. Those lips. Those hands. Why did it have to be so hard? 

“Our status. I am aware,” she said it first, beating him to it on purpose. “But we were having such a nice time but moments ago, Inspector Ginoza. Why bring something so... delicate to the table now?”

He liked this cocky attitude of hers. In fact… he liked a lot of things about her. 

“I believe you already heard my response, and multiple times before. It has nothing to do with you leaving, painful as it was. It has nothing to do with your decision to avoid both me and Kogami for the past month, in hopes to make this all somehow seem less chaotic than it is. But, despite it being controlled, by you, Kogami, or me… it’s still chaos. And that calm, controlled chaos is the oxymoron that all three of us have to deal with, and settle as soon as possible.” 

“Because keeping you both at distance didn’t prove good for me,” she mocked. “Maybe the simple solution is this: all three of us call it off, and find different partners instead.” 

He slowly straightened his back. His move still made her stiffen in anticipation. What did she expect, really? Coming to his home this late. Sitting next to him so casually. Did she really think she’d have it easy just because she put some distance between them? 

“Would it make you happy to see me with Risa so much?” he asked, a slight mischief could be heard in his tone as if he knew that it would bother her to know he was dating their colleague. 

“Risa is back with Ryogo,” Shizuka hissed, unable to act indifferently. She bit into her lip, and Ginoza’s lips formed into a smile. 

“I know,” he said. “But relationships seem to be so fickle these days, especially where the Enforcers are concerned.” 

“She wouldn’t do that,” Shizuka raised her eyebrow. 

“Because she is such a good friend to you? Must I remind you… that we almost did it?” 

_He is getting into your head, Shizuka, you fool. Don’t give in to his provocations._

“Are you provoking me because you think something would change between you and me?” 

“Hasn’t it already changed ?” Ginoza asked. 

“What are you hoping to achieve?” 

“Right on that couch over there. Me and Risa… drunk as only two desperate people get, were removing our clothes, and kissing like two animals. She is really beautiful, you know. The way she sounds… the way she moves… would make any guy go crazy. I have to admit… I was really aroused. Can you imagine it, escapist?” 

“Shut up,” she wasn’t going to let him see just how upset she was. “Shut up, Nobuchika.” 

“Tell me you’d be alright with me being with her. Tell me you’d be alright with Kogami being with somebody else as well. Tell me you’d be just fine with dating some other guy, and we will have that solution tonight.”

“There’s another solution to it. You get into another triangle, with Risa and Kozuki Ryogo, and I get back to Kogami. Sounds good?”

“Except you get into another triangle as well. With Kogami and Tsunemori. Don’t tell me you didn’t notice the way she looks at him.”

“I am pleasantly surprised. You actually managed to notice something like that. Well done.”

She didn’t offer the last and the easiest solution. She didn’t want to give him the pleasure of saying it out loud. 

“Let’s end it tonight, then. Date whoever the fuck you want to date, Ginoza-san. I will see what I will do… and with whom will I do it.”

Pressuring her into bringing that decision was always going to backfire. 

She rose from her seat, only to see him rise as well. Before she could act, he slammed her back against the table, towering over her. 

“Move or I will put your sorry ass where it belongs, you man-child!” 

“You’ve just said that I could date whoever I wanted to. Haven’t you?” 

“I forgot to add the ‘excluding me’ part. Figured it was already established.” 

“Nothing is certain. Especially when the two of us are concerned. Don’t you agree?” 

His grip on her wrists increased. His face was getting closer, making her all flustered. 

“I gave you my answer. Let’s end it,” she venomously stared at him, but the absence of struggling only showed him what he already knew. That this was far from over.

“That dishonesty… is something that isn’t befitting someone of your caliber, Shepherd Two,” he whispered against her ear, and her treacherous heart reacted to his tone, and his warmth. Coming here… and hoping things wouldn’t lead to this was more naïve than she could allow herself to be.

“I am not Shepherd Two anymore, so stop messing around. Acting like this isn’t befitting someone of your caliber either,” she whispered as well, because if she spoke any louder, she would probably squeak along the way. Stupid girl. 

“You will always be Shepherd Two to me,” he traced her lip with his tongue, causing that familiar sense of excitement, that electric feeling that was charging with a simple, slow stroke. He was an exceptional kisser. She just remembered how good he was. 

“I’d appreciate that statement under any other cir…” 

He stretched her arms above her head, deepening the kiss. His tongue rolled over hers in swift, needy motion that left her breathless.

“Don’t,” she turned her head, thinking how… in this very moment… Kogami was lying unconscious in the recovery room. Doing this with Ginoza… felt like another betrayal. 

“I would have listened in any other situation.” 

Seeing her so bothered… meant that she didn’t forget any of it. Of what they did that night. That whole night. Despite his inexperience… despite her hesitation… they made love until the sun started rising. Something like that engraves into one’s body. Two bodies, to be exact. And he was sure, even before he started doing this… that she hasn’t been able to suppress it and forget, regardless of her intense escapism sessions. 

That was something neither one of them will ever be able to forget. And coming here… only meant that she was reminded of it all over again, and that she was revoking every single moment in her mind. 

“Do you know how hard it is?” he asked, kissing her again with a passion that could only rival Kogami’s assertiveness. He pressed his hips against hers, making her feel just how hard it has been. The fact that Ginoza did something like this… was somehow even more arousing. Feeling his lips on her throat made her gasp in agony. She made a weak movement… a wince… but it wasn’t even a real form of struggle. She was more willing to submit to him than he even expected. 

“Not seeing you in the office. Not being able to be close to you. Do you even know what you’ve done to me?”

Such raw, simple exclamation. Thrilling. Honest.

“I’ve missed you as well. You have to believe it,” she whispered, putting her arms around his shoulders. His smell. His body. She would be a liar if she said she didn’t desperately want him in that moment. But… she also…

“But you’ve missed him as well. Don’t I know it?” 

He was getting better at reading her, that’s for sure. 

“I missed him as well.” 

Especially since… her relationship with him was shaken to its very core. Because she slept with Ginoza. 

“I know you regretted it. I didn’t. I never will, for that matter. Despite all the time you’ve spent with him, despite everything he made you feel, I still believe you are someone who should be mine instead. And I will keep on making you mine… regardless of what it takes to get there.”

She moaned when he kissed her again, opening her buckle, and then reaching for the button on her trousers. His fingers were cold. She gasped into his mouth, grabbing his wrist. Too intense. Too soon. He still slid under her pants, making her squeeze his shirt on his back and fighting to let out even more moans.

She looked into his eyes, terrified. It would be easy to surrender to him. Easier than anything else. But, giving into this fleeting moment… would mean more guilt upon seeing Shinya the next time. She squeezed his wrist tighter, but a sudden moan just indicated that he reached the right spot, working his fingers deep inside of her. 

“Please, Gino… we can’t,” she fought her urge the more he pleased her, but her body reacted to him. His touch was still a bit rough… given how he didn’t get to have much experience, but he still did a good job nonetheless. That was a given instinct. He could deny his star sign all he wanted, but he had the natural propensity for sex like most Scorpios did. 

“You have no future with Shinya, and that’s the hard truth. Each day, he is getting further away from you and it’s only natural to be scared to lose him. Has it occurred to you… that it’s high time to let him go?” 

“Because it’s so convenient for you? Because I have such a bright future with you? Because you wouldn’t constantly remind me of what I used to have with him?” 

“Used to have and have is different. Wouldn’t you agree? And what you could have with me… goes beyond all what you have already had with him.” 

“Really? Aren’t you confident all of a sudden?” 

“Only when I see you so bothered. For it shows me that I am right.” 

He had a way with that tongue. He also was quite sassy when he got into the mood like this.

“This can’t go any further,” she hated herself for saying it. The way he was making her feel was too good to just… stop it there. But, she had to. “I know… nhhh… what you are doing…” she was sweating. He was going to make her finish with his fingers alone. “I know this is a competition for you… ahhh… just… sto… stop!” 

“You’d stop your own orgasm just to prove a point?” he had to laugh at her stubbornness. But here… like this… he had the upper hand. Pun intended. She was fighting it hard indeed. She tried so hard. And yet…

“Just like you’d just sleep with… me… h-hh… to prove your own point. The one who gets… to me… first… gets to win? Is that it?” she guessed. However, it wasn’t as simple as that either. She squeezed her thighs, fighting the sensation with everything she had. 

“Far from it. I am merely getting the experience I need in order to compete with him in the first place.” 

His expression got her face all red. She was panting now. 

“Gino, I mean it. Stop it.” 

She fought to breathe. His gaze didn’t make this any easier for her. 

“We’ve been there… weren’t we? Denying. Avoiding one another. Acting up. But all of that ended with that night. So, what do you expect to happen now? You tell me to stop, and like a fool, I stop? You tell me you don’t want me, that you want him instead, and so I stop again? Even now… you are afraid… of what happens once he learns you’ve been with me again. If he is so sure he wants you, then he shouldn’t mind how many times I sleep with you. Like he told me. So why is it so important to you to sleep with him again first? Does it even matter who gets to be the first one?” 

She gasped, stopping his hand. 

“It isn’t… like that…” 

“Come on, I know you. You wanted him to be first yet again, like that would solve anything. But, I see this is messing up your… how should I call it? Schedule?”

She slapped him. She didn’t really intend to, her hand just moved on its own. She almost apologized for it. Almost. 

“Don’t make me put you off that schedule for good,” she hissed, straightening her upper body up. She still needed the moment to deal with her frustration. 

“Can you, I wonder?” he asked, closing the space around her with his arms. She closed her eyes, annoyed. 

“I know you can’t forget it any less than I can. What we did, that night. And for so many times...” 

“Shut up and move.” 

“Just how long are you going to play hard… no, even harder to get? It took quite some time to get you in my bed. Do I have to wait even longer than before since you are so railed with guilt that this is too much for you? Am I that repulsive?” 

“Stop spouting nonsense. If you were, it wouldn’t be so hard for me.” 

“When are you going to admit that this was bound to happen anyway?” 

He sat in the chair in front of her, looking at her in way that made her want him so badly it was unbearable. Gino unbuttoned his shirt, removing the tie once he was done.

“In this relationship… or whatever it is… it can’t always go the way you plan, Shizuka. It’s always your terms… your way… your rules. Your pace. But not anymore. If you want this… if you want me… there needs to be an equal exchange.” 

“I am not…” 

“Ready? You will never be ready, you will always be stuck on Shinya, and I will always be… what? Some temptation that you need to shrug off? No, Shizuka. We are in this together, and in it, if I have to play by your rules, you have to play by my own too.” 

“Shinya…”

“You have a deal with Shinya. We both do. You don’t speak about this with him… and you don’t speak of your time with him when you are like this with me.” 

“What if I don’t…” 

“Don’t what?” he abruptly interrupted her question. He slowly separated his knees, making himself more comfortable. “Are you saying you don’t want this?” 

He removed his shirt without breaking the eye contact. He threw it on the floor. He was playing with the tie in his hands, wrapping it around his fingers. 

“If you don’t want this… you are free to go. Just don’t forget… even if you leave now… we are far from done, Shepherd Two.” 

Seeing him like that… made her weak in her knees. 

“I can’t even… recognize you anymore, Nobu…” 

He leaned back into his chair, allowing her the space to leave if she wanted to. 

“Given your general opinion about me, shall I take it as a compliment?” 

She reached for the zipper on her trousers. She knew she had to close it, to close that button and close her buckle back. She had to do that, and leave. But his eyes locked her in the spot. She couldn’t move. She was looking at him, wondering… if it was really high time to let Shinya go. She wanted to be a better person. For him. For herself as well. But, Gino was right. They could never go back, never be the same, and this… this will happen at some point, so why prolong the agony? 

“I can almost hear you thinking, Shizuka. You want to leave, don’t you?” he asked, enjoying her torment a bit too much. Because he finally saw… that she wanted him more than her guilty conscience allowed her to. She was finally closer to where he wanted her to be. 

“You can leave,” he smiled, knowing she wouldn’t. She wanted to wipe that cocky smirk off his lips. 

“And leave you hanging?” she asked, agitated by his confidence. She leaned towards him. 

“It wouldn’t be a first,” he pointed out. 

True. She unbuttoned her shirt as well, and he pulled her trousers down, letting them slide on the floor. He could still see her fighting her urge. A moment longer… and she would have ended it. And so, he didn’t allow that moment. He unbuckled his own belt. Then, he made a simple hand gesture, an inviting finger-movement... and she lowered herself down, getting on top of him. Like some trained dog, she thought. How did she turn into this? 

“Good girl,” he said, wrapping his tie around her wrists, and putting her hands around his shoulders. His hand slid down her back, and his mouth opened to devour hers, leaving her utterly without breath. 

\-----------------------------

It wasn’t the most comfortable pose, but neither of them cared. Once they started kissing, it didn’t matter where they’ve been or where they were doing it. His skin felt hot, his tongue invaded her mouth entirely, making her push his tongue out just so she could breathe.

She was grinding his hips with her thighs, riding his hard, thick cock in fast motion. She was too wet, too aroused to go slowly, and so was he. She was feeling him deeply, and pre-cum was already leaking from his tip… but his hands felt like claws, holding her captured in hot, wet Hell. 

She was done fairly quickly, biting into his shoulder because she had to suppress her scream. Gino grunted, letting her rest… but only for a moment.

\-------------------------------

He pushed her back onto the table, spreading her legs, and entering her again without preparing her. It was his turn to cum… and since this was nothing but a pure, raw fucking, he didn’t feel the need to hold back. 

She knew this would leave her sore the next day… or few days, like the last time. But, in that moment, she could only close her arms around his back and let him put all that fire of his inside of her.

There was no need for words. Any kind of words. Just thrusts, fast and merciless, until she was on point of begging him to stop. But, there was no point, for he’d only tell her to beg him for more. And she wanted to… she just couldn’t form concise words. Only moans. She dug her nails into his back, squeezing him with her legs. 

He made her cum twice before he reached his own climax. Only then, he removed the tie from her wrists. They remained silent for a few moments. 

“You are truly an ass, Nobuchika. These traces will stay.”

“Unless you plan on fucking Kogami tomorrow, I don’t see how having that for a few days would be a problem.” 

She frowned, picking her clothes up from the floor. 

“He’d be out of commission tomorrow and you know it. But I might just fuck him the day after,” she hissed. Ginoza shrugged his shoulders, and went to the sink so he could pour him some water. 

“You better make that schedule, then.” 

He got what he wanted. He was too pleased to argue with her any further. Shizuka glared at him.

“Very funny, Nobuchika.” 

\------------------------------------

Kogami was really out of commission the next day. He was resting, waking up several times, only to receive more sedatives and painkillers, and sleep some more. 

“How are his stats?” Shizuka looked at the projector, and Shion smiled, seeing Shizuka in her lab. 

“Stable, but he is groggy and mostly asleep. Glad to see you back, Shizu-chan.” 

Shizuka sighed, and sat next to Karanomori. 

“How is the new Inspector doing?” Akibara asked, knowing she would come to see whether Kogami was any better. She expected her to feel very guilty about the whole thing. 

“Hasn’t she come to see you yet?” Karanomori was curious. 

“No… I think she might be a little embarrassed, given how things turned out to be,” Shizuka said, looking at Shinya’s sleeping expression. 

“Who can blame her, really? Putting such a man out of commission,” Karanomori smirked. 

“The next time he wakes up… please, inform me. I need to talk to him.” 

“Must be something really serious,” Shion deduced, seeing how serious her expression was. 

“It is. And please, jam the audio-line. It needs to be private.” 

Karanomori grinned. “Whispering lascivious words in your man’s ear won't do you any good. He won’t be able to service you in that state.” 

“If that was the case, I would have asked you to jam the video as well, wouldn’t I?” Shizuka pointed out. 

“Indeed. Well, who am I to oppose the direct order of our supreme Inspector?” she asked, handing Shizuka the latest edition of printed fashion magazine. “The white one or the blue one?” 

Shizuka flicked through the models. “The blue one. Though, both would look good on you, and you know it.”

Shion smiled, enjoying the compliment. 

\-------------------------------------

“Figured you’d be the first one here,” he said, wanting to straighten up in that bed, but he couldn’t find the strength to do so. It was still too early for him to move. 

“Don’t. It must hurt like Hell.” 

“It does,” he admitted. “You look well, though. I like the hair.” 

She found it endearing. “I am glad.” 

She made a brief pause. “You shouldn’t have put her through such ordeal,” she said. 

“Current Shepherd Two?” 

“Yes.”

He didn’t have smart retort to that. And she knew why he acted that way. 

“You could have shot me instead, Shizuka.” 

“I could have… but you wanted her to be the one. Didn’t you? So she could learn exactly what it meant… to be Shepherd.” 

He smiled. 

“She is agonizing over what she has done, you know,” Shizuka stated. 

“Why? She just shot the Enforcer who refused to listen,” Kogami remarked. 

“Exactly. You could say it the next time she comes to visit.” 

This surprised him. 

“She was here?”

“Yes. According to Shion… she seemed really sorry.” 

Kogami was looking at Shizuka, noticing how her gaze kept going down towards the floor.

“And what are you sorry for?” he asked. The pause was much longer than before. 

“Oh,” Kogami closed his eyes. “That bastard. He really doesn’t waste a moment, huh?”

He clenched his fists, and even that required an effort. She was trying to find the right words.

“I know this is a really bad time…” she started, but Kogami didn’t want to hear it. 

“Don’t you dare say that you want to do right by me after doing me wrong. Do you really want to break up?” he asked instead.

She thought she was finally ready for this. However… she couldn’t say it. Three simple words. Let’s break up. But, she couldn’t make herself say such a simple phrase. 

“Shizuka?” he demanded. Three simple words and they'd be over. 

“No. I don’t.” 

Kogami seemed relieved. He exhaled, looking at the ceiling. 

“I didn’t think so,” he said, looking her with those grey eyes she loved so. “No matter what he does… until the moment you decide you don’t love me anymore, we aren’t done.” 

Because, that's how Kogami Shinya fought for who he loved. He wasn't planning to just give her up, and if Gino really wanted her for himself, he will just have to do better.


	3. Fatal Flaw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **If you can't trust yourself... who can you trust?**
> 
> Comments and kudos are highly appreciated, feel free to leave a review. Also, sorry for the delayed updates. 
> 
> I am in mourning so I am not in the mood to write... and I am sorry about that. I will try and update sooner.

**PART 3 – Fatal Flaw**

It was around two am when he called. 

“What?” she growled, displeased by his timing. If she had any time to think, she wouldn’t have taken that call. Still, she took it, as per reflex, and listened. 

“Still awake?” he asked, and she felt the tension arise merely from hearing his voice. This won’t be pleasant. 

“What the Hell do you want, Gino?” 

She hoped she sounded calm. But, she was far from it. 

“A promotion. You to get back to Division One. You to break up with him. You to get over here and make love to me. Not necessarily in that order.”

“Did you wake me up just to throw witty remarks at me?” 

That remark… about making love… caused her to blush in the darkness. She had to act as calm as she could in the given moment.

“I woke you up because I wanted to hear your voice,” he simply stated. 

“Whatever for?”

She sighed, rising a bit in her bed. 

“Because I wanted to apologize… for how I treated you the last time. That was selfish… and immature,” he said. 

“Damn, Nobuchika… you are picking the worst time for dealing with the guilty conscience.” 

“Sorry,” his retort surprised her. 

“Hey… is your hue all right?” she asked, now beginning to get worried. Was he calling because he was down-spiraling or something?

“It’s fine,” he simply stated.

“Listen…” she started, only to get interrupted. 

“Are you getting back with him?” he wanted to know. He must have heard that she went to visit Kogami in the hospital wing. Some part of him hoped that… after recent events… Kogami decided to let her go, and this time, for good. 

“We never broke up to begin with,” she informed him, biting into her lip. His sigh, coming from his side of the line, wasn’t all that surprising. 

“Does he even know…”

“… that we had sex? Yes. He does.”

She was too embarrassed to think about it. Even more to speak about it out loud. But, she won’t omit to call it the right way just to make them both feel less guilty about it. 

“He must be out of his mind,” Gino mumbled to himself. “And you must be too.” 

“Weren’t you the one who said that if he loved me, he wouldn’t care how many times you and I slept together?”

He did. Of course he did… but he also thought Kou would break up with Shizuka once he learns that she slept with him more than once. 

She could almost feel how uneasy Gino felt. Despite his recent behavior… Gino wasn’t all that comfortable with the triangle they’ve found themselves captured in. 

“How’s your hue?” she asked once more. He didn’t respond immediately.

“How’s yours?” he asked back. She lied back on the pillow, covering her eyes with her hand. 

“Powder blue,” she whispered. She heard his relief from the other side of the line. “And yours?” 

“Turquoise,” he said. “Within the pale parameter of the specter.” 

She gasped, relieved to hear it too. 

“You are aware what that means… aren’t you?” he asked.

She inhaled a few times. 

“That there’s no remorse,” she whispered. “No guilt.” 

“And no shame,” Gino added. She let that sink in.

“It’s because we both feel the same way, Shizuka. We know that doing it to him isn’t right… but we also know that fulfilling that primal need of ours… isn’t bad for our hues at all. On the contrary.”

“Gino…”

“Just admit it, Shizuka… admit it already. If not to me, then to yourself.” 

The silence that followed was long, but neither one of them ended that call. 

“You already know it, Nobuchika. What is there to say?” 

“You have to say it. For I am not him,” he stated. “I can’t read your mind.”

She put her hand over her heart, trying to calm her quickening heartbeats. 

“I can’t, Gino,” she whispered.

“Can’t… or won’t? It’s just you and me, no one else is listening.” 

She was sure he smiled. Somehow, she was sure of it. 

“I need you,” she barely even whispered those words. “I want you, and I feel so… guilty…” 

“There’s no guilt because it feels right,” he reminded her of it, of what they were when they were together. “Because you know that feeling… isn’t just raw, primal need. It’s more.”

“I am afraid,” she admitted. “So afraid, Nobu…” 

“I know,” he said, surprising her by his sheer honesty. “I know that feeling all too well.” 

“I feel bad because of Kou,” she whispered. “But…” 

He waited. So long… he was waiting for those words… and she couldn’t withhold them any longer. 

“It’s okay to feel bad. I feel bad about him as well,” Gino whispered back.

She waited a moment longer. She knew that if she says it… everything will change.

“I know what you felt the last time we did it,” she stated. “I know how frustrating, and how difficult it has been for you. It’s not like I am not aware.” 

“I made it hard for you as well.”

“I don’t want to be your sex friend,” she uttered. “I mean… we could keep being that way… and torment one another with that insatiable lust and eventual outbursts of it. However, I don’t want to be reduced to that. I… want more,” she squeezed her bedsheet in frustration, wrinkling it in her free hand. 

“Me too,” he whispered. 

“I… love you. I really do. I love you, Nobu…” 

There. There it was… a confession she never dared to vocalize, not after he rejected her first attempt all those years ago. 

“I love you too, Shizuka.” 

She realized that she was crying. Tears were sliding down her cheeks… like small, warm droplets. He said it. There was no going back from this. 

“Still… I…”

“I know,” he exclaimed, “I know it’s hard to let him go. I know it must be nerve-wrecking, and for that, I am truly sorry, Shizuka. But, you’ve got to do it if you want us to have something real. I can’t… share you with Shinya. I feel like I’ve given you to him long enough. I feel like you are supposed to belong to me. I can’t stand the thought… mere thought of him being with you. That’s why I…”

Had to mark her. To bury himself so deep into her that she would be able to think only of him. Not of Shinya. She understood him well. She just didn’t know what to do to make him feel better about it. Because, it was harder than anything else… to disregard Shinya and fully commit to Gino. It was still too early to her. 

“I need more time, Gino. I am sorry… but I really do.”

Silence. Heavy breathing. Then, his tired tone. 

“How much time?” he asked, but even he knew… that she wouldn’t have an answer to that. 

“I…” 

How much time indeed? 

“Good night, Shepherd Two.” 

She responded back… but she didn’t know whether he heard her response or not. For some reason… she couldn’t stop crying. And for another… even after hearing… she didn’t feel relieved at all. 

She did love him. Loved him as a woman loves man. But she also loved Shinya the same way. While that feeling lasted… she wasn’t able to call things off. 

Not yet anyway. 

\------------------------------

She woke around four am. She checked on her wristwatch… and couldn’t find the call from Nobuchika. 

She wondered whether she deleted that log… or if she imagined it altogether.

Was it real? It sounded real. He sounded real. But did that conversation happen? 

Her head was hurting. Her mind was playing tricks… was this one of them? Can she believe what she sees? Hears? 

Did she just erase that call without thinking about it? Was this just a way for her hue to heal itself? Or… was she like her mother? Schizophrenic? Shizoid? She felt like she might go crazy. Maybe her mother felt this way too.

She will have to ask Gino… she will have to make sure. But she was too afraid to even form that question.

\--------------------------------

“Have you read Tsunemori Akane’s report yet, Inspector Akibara?” 

Kasei wasn’t looking at Shizuka. She was playing with the Rubic’s cube, focused onto rearranging the tiles. Shizuka was standing in front of her desk. She politely declined to sit down, expecting this meeting to be brief. 

“I did.” 

“And?”

“Do you want me to conveniently lie, or give you my honest opinion?” Shizuka asked, looking directly at Kasei. 

“The fact you have the audacity to speak to me that way implies that you’ve grown more proficient in your… escapism sessions. Am I wrong?” 

“Rarely, Chief. But, it’s not escapism that inspires thins kind of talk... but rather the overall treatment I am receiving from you.” 

Kasei looked at Shizuka. She reminded her of some strict teacher, about to reprimand the disobedient student. 

“Careful now, girl. Don’t overplay the hand that was dealt to you.” 

Shizuka smiled. “Like my father did?” 

Silence followed. Kasei was the first one to speak.

“You were watching those interviews again.” 

“Is it forbidden?” Shizuka asked. Chief didn’t like her polite demeanor. 

“It’s unadvised. However, I am sure you will do as you please, since that’s what you always do.”

Shizuka placed her hands on Kasei’s desk. 

“I’ve read Tsunemori’s report. And not only that - I was present at the crime scene too. However, you already knew that. What you are really asking me, is whether I affected her decision somehow. Tsunemori refused to shot even after she got very specific instructions from the Dominator. Others would have probably executed the victim on spot... much like all the Enforcers were prepared to do.” 

“Others… but would you?” Kasei’s sharp gaze didn’t bother Shizuka anymore. Nor did her question. 

“Why ask when you already know the answer?” Shizuka asked instead. Kasei made a brief pause, thinking about Shizuka’s recent rebellious attitude.

“Despite your personal preference, you still advised Tsunemori Akane to act as an Inspector and pull the trigger.”

Shizuka’s eyes narrowed. Sibyl was apparently always listening. Dominators weren’t only the eyes of Sibyl... but also the ears as well. 

“That’s what’s required of someone who was promoted to senior Inspector… isn’t it?” Shizuka’s tone was displeasing to her chief. “Isn’t that exactly how Sibyl wants me to act?”  
Kasei put the cube on the desk, turning her attention fully to inspector. 

“Your hue is stable.” 

“For the time being,” Shizuka pointed out. She omitted her recent delusions. Byproducts of her sessions. 

“It’s really strange how you are able to compartmentalize your personal preference and just do what you are supposed to do. Your hue hasn’t even clouded despite the conflicting mental and emotional state… well, defiance you had during that case. Those escapism sessions… must be quite beneficial to your specter.”

Kasei, more than ever, wondered whether it was safe to have someone like Shizuka around the system. 

“They have proven useful more than once,” the girl retorted. 

“Did you stress over the woman?” Kasei wanted to know. 

“The hostage? I really hoped for her recovery. But I didn’t stress over her, for that would be pointless. Had I stressed over everyone I had to protect, I would have been institutionalized a while ago.”

She wasn’t honest, of course. She was worried about the general state of that woman. And if she was like this… she could only imagine how that entire case affected her poor colleague, Tsunemori. 

“Still, you stressed and still stress over Kogami Shinya,” Kasei placed her hands on the desk, leaning towards Shizuka. “Ever since you got promoted… his crime coefficient has grown. Reports state that he is acting quite… violently when on field.” 

Shizuka shortly glared at Kasei, but said nothing. Obviously, the chief was bluffing. Gino omitted Kogami’s behavior from the reports, and she knew that not only because she revised Gino’s reports prior sending them to Kasei, but because Gino wouldn’t, regardless of the circumstances, allow himself to harm Kogami any more than he had to. 

Surely, he still hated him for getting demoted, but he wouldn’t do anything to put him into any additional jeopardy. Despite the situation both men had with Shizuka. 

“Kogami acted per instructions. He almost shot that woman. But, Sibyl’s estimation was temporary, and if Inspector Tsunemori had pulled her trigger, we would have an innocent victim on the collective conscience.” 

Her words made Kasei lean in her chair.

“Collective conscience?” she echoed. 

“Of CID,” Shizuka shrugged her shoulders. 

“We wouldn’t have known whether she was innocent, and whether it was temporary. Sibyl’s verdict shouldn’t be doubted.” 

“Strange how accurate system that is supposed to predict the outcomes can make such miscalculation. Is it not?” Shizuka asked and Kasei frowned.

“Careful now, Akibara.” 

Threats hardly bothered Shizuka at this point. 

“Tsunemori did the right thing. We have to to overrule the computer’s judgement from time to time. The human factor needs to play bigger role in Sibyl’s overall management. Just saying.”

Kasei’s sharp eyes grazed Shizuka again.

“I am not surprised that, off the record, you support Tsunemori Akane’s choice.”

“As should Sibyl. Inspector Tsunemori brought the right decision.” 

Shizuka was sure of it. 

“The woman almost didn’t recover,” Kasei remarked. 

“Almost is too big risk to take into consideration when we are dealing with civic lives.”

She had to insist on it, even when she knew it was wrong to foolishly state something like that in front of Chief. 

“This isn’t a first time you are claiming the system isn’t working properly,” Kasei’s voice was now laced with venom.

“Only at times when calculations are off, Chief.” 

Shizuka took the Rubic’s cube, admiring the completed version. “Sometimes, even that what looks perfect, has some sort of malfunction.” 

“Akibara.” 

Shizuka put the cube down. 

“I’ve noticed something strange, you know. In some interviews… in my father’s observations… he uses terms ‘them’. ‘They’. ‘Their’. As if Sibyl wasn’t just a system as singular setting, but rather… plural. At first, I thought he was referring to management of Sibyl… but now I wonder.” 

Kasei now displayed open animosity towards her underling. 

“Akibara… you may be a splendid Inspector, but you have a fatal flaw. Don’t forget that. Also, you have a weakness that’s in form of another person, not solely through that unstable mental state of yours.” 

Shizuka removed her hands from Kasei’s desk, and backed from it, putting her hands in the coat instead. She smiled, seeing Kasei lose her cool. 

“If you have to threaten me with Kogami, that only means I got closer to revealing the truth.”

Like those who managed the Bifrost… a matter that Sayo was currently looking into. Shizuka took her time to look into systems archives, seeing how some inspectors were mysteriously linked to Bifrost as well. But, she had to investigate slowly to avoid suspicion. She had to be very careful not to raise any doubts. It will take time. 

Shizuka was still smiling at Chief. She also had a question for her.

“What will you do when I solve the puzzle? Kill him? Kill me? Make me kill myself?” 

The girl was getting ahead of herself, Kasei thought. Mistake that youth often makes. Kasei didn’t respond to Shizuka’s question.

“On and off the record, I support Tsunemori’s decision wholeheartedly. The girl lives up to that score that she obtained at the entrance exam,” Shizuka said, now turning on her heel.

Kasei rose from her seat. 

“We’ve already dealt with you, Akibara Shizuka. What makes you think we won’t be able to deal with her?” Kasei asked, provoking her to turn back. 

We, Shizuka thought. Even now, it’s ‘we’. It’s nothing personal… but rather a collective statement. 

“Oh… numbers, Chief. Sheer numbers,” was Shizuka’s dual response. She didn’t refer to crime coefficients, she referred to Inspectors that were much like Akibara and Tsunemori. Inspectors that looked into Sibyl’s structure long before Shizuka or Akane appeared. 

“Akibara. Regardless of that very convenient ability… I’d be careful in your stead. Very careful… about what I am saying. To anyone.” 

“There’s no need to warn me about it. It’s on my mind all the time. Still… ” 

Shizuka didn’t stop smiling for a second. Something about her expression really irritated the boss.

\-----------------------------------------------

“She is becoming a bigger obstacle with each new case she works on.” 

“Maybe it’s time to close her off for good. Keeping her in the rehab center is dangerous, so we should lock her up.” 

“How? Her hue is stable.” 

“Never mind her hue. We can always fabricate the parameters.”

“No, we have to wait for the stress of piled up cases of several divisions to work its way in. That alone can bring her down.”

“It could, but she is becoming more and more resilient with that… ability of hers. We can officially consider her a threat.” 

“Oh, she isn’t a threat, she is bluffing. She has nothing, that girl.”

“You are saying that just because you used to…” 

“Everyone. Please. Akibara Shizuka isn’t someone we should be concerned about. We have bigger issues at hand.”

They could deal with Shizuka, because they had Kogami. And not only Kogami. The whole Division One, or Division Two could be her downfall.

Bigger issues at hand, like criminally asymptomatic individuals, threatened to expose Sibyl’s inability to govern the global society. 

They had to catch as many as they could… and make them join the system. 

Akibara Shizuka was of little concern to Sibyl in that light of things.

\------------------------------------------

Shizuka returned to her office, only to find Risa in it.

“Hey.” 

“Hey you. It’s been a while,” Shizuka showed her to sit. “Do you want some tea? Coffee?”

“No… nothing. Thanks.” 

Shizuka took her own place at her own desk. 

“Tell me this is unofficial,” Shizuka stretched her limbs, tired a bit.

“Partially. I have a… strange case, to say the least. You know of Lady Rey?” 

“Are you kidding me? I have her vinyl records, people mock me for being vintage. She had an amazing voice, it’s a pity she died so young.” 

“Indeed. Have you heard of that scumbag who had a lot of money and bought all her rights? All her appearances. Every broadcast, every hologram.” 

“I did. He limited the fans to the streaming sites, and private collections. I was really pissed off.”

“Get in line. When he bought all her rights from the family, he forbade public displays of her videos, airing of her songs, banned tribute bands etc. He gave an enormous amount of money to have exclusive rights to her. But, she was widely known and loved, so this was a major problem with lawsuit.”

“Someone killed him?” Shizuka assumed, leaning in her chair.

“That was quick, girl! And on point. He was found in his hotel, strangled, with hologram of hers on display, hovering over him. It was pretty bizarre.” 

“And you don’t know where even to begin with the suspects,” Shizuka smiled. 

“Indeed! The cameras were jammed. The servants saw no one. His personal secretary says he had no appointments for that night. Just… playing Lady Rey, over and over again.”

“Good God. Was there… some… perverse act involved or something?” 

“I don’t know… she did wear provocative outfit, but again, it’s stage clothing, and it’s Lady Rey.” 

“Right. Well… did you start with the family?”

“All of them have alibis. The secretary and his house staff as well. It’s as if… everyone was protecting the killer from getting exposed. Just so we can all have Lady Rey on our screens again.” 

“What a mess. Well, honestly, I am glad we will be able to go to hologram concert of hers in the future. Imagine not being able to listen to someone just because they are dead.”

“Indeed. Imagine how it was for people who couldn’t go to Michael Jackson’s concert, for example.” 

“Or who couldn’t project them in VR.” 

“Thank the technology for all the good experiences we get.” 

Gino, in particular, could thank the technology for certain… education. 

“Every single day. Did you question his lawyers?” 

“Started… but everything is off.” 

“Tough case. But interesting,” Shizuka smiled. 

“Do you want to tag along?” Risa asked. 

“Let me grab my jacket.” 

\----------------------------------------

“That was…”

“Expected?” Shizuka smiled, walking along with Risa. 

The lawyer killed the buyer of Lady Rey’s entire career after a fight over the rights. 

He was a fan of Lady Rey and he argued that she should be available for a broadcast to everyone since she was a celebrity. No amount of money should be able to buy rights of someone so widely beloved. It was unfair. It was selfish. Although both Risa and Shizuka tried to stay impartial, they kind of agreed with the lawyer as well. She was a public persona, not someone whose music was for a single, albeit very rich person. 

“I can’t believe my hue wasn’t affected,” Risa admitted, opening the car so both of them could get in. 

“Don’t think too much about it, or it will become murky,” Shizuka warned. She sat next to Risa and put the belt. Risa started the car, heading towards the city. 

“I must say… I didn’t get immediately that it was the lawyer. How did you know?” 

Shizuka didn’t want to point out how she was looking things through perspective that was rather similar to those of the Enforcers.

“It was just a hunch. The timeline fit. The murder weapon too,” she said instead. Murder weapon in this case was the tie. Lawyer actually strangled him with it. 

“Well… what a case,” Risa sighed.

“Since that asshole almost forbade us Lady Rey, I’d call this a win-win situation,” Shizuka made a joke. Risa couldn’t help but laugh as well. 

“Damn, girl… it was really fun to have you back. Well, as fun as cases like these can be.” 

Shizuka felt the same. 

“Say, Aoyanagi… do you want to grab a cocktail after this? Or… some tea? Juice?” 

She sometimes forgot that people didn’t share her tendency for alcohol. 

“I thought you’d never ask,” Risa grinned. 

\------------------------------------------

The two of them went out after the shift ended. Risa took fruity cocktail with the lowest alcohol percentage, while Shizuka was a bit braver, and took something stronger. She needed liquid courage. 

“Listen…” 

“Shizu…”

Both smiled, rather awkwardly. 

“I knew it would be a pain… just not how much,” Risa smiled. “And here I was, trying my best to keep it cool for both of our sake.”

“Come on. You don’t even need to keep it cool, you are always cool,” Shizuka pointed out, thinking how Risa always had something quite charismatic about her personality. 

“Except when things get a bit out of hand with Gino,” Risa vocalized what was making them both uncomfortable. 

“Does Kozuki know about…” Shizuka wasn’t sure it was even okay to ask something like that. 

“About that kiss? No need for him to know, we aren’t really on those terms,” Risa understood what Shizuka was trying to ask. “We took a break, so… what I do while I am single and in my spare time… is none of Ryogo’s concern.” 

“Why did you break up in the first place?” Shizuka finally asked. 

Risa sighed, looking at the glass in her hand. 

“His Psycho-Pass degraded. He tried to break up effortlessly, in the attempt to protect my hue,” was all that she said. The pressure of dating an Enforcer… was hard and pretty familiar to Shizuka. She was well aware of it. Of all the limitations. All inconveniences. And social stigma. Also, the fear. Fear of ‘stooping’… to their level. 

“What made you change your mind?” Shizuka asked. 

“I felt…” Risa started… but made a brief pause. 

“Empty?” Shizuka guessed. Risa nodded. 

“I missed him,” she then admitted. “His leisured attitude. His cheerful personality. Even his teasing.” 

Shizuka drank some more. “Then… what about Nobuchika?” 

What pushed you towards Gino, Aoyanagi? 

“He brought that up again, huh?” Risa blushed, avoiding looking Shizuka in the eyes. “When?” 

“Does it matter?” Shizuka asked. 

“Of course it matters. What were you doing when he spoke of it?” 

She was quick on picking things up. She was a detective too.

“We...” 

Now Shizuka couldn’t find words, and her face was all flustered. 

“We just… brought it up.” 

“I wondered about it, you know. He refuses to speak on the topic, he is all discrete and uptight. But I know him well enough to tell, Shizu,” Risa put her arm around Shizuka’s shoulders, almost making her drop her glass.

“He changed. His posture, his mannerisms, his general behavior, all of those things. Not to mention that he took your departure rather… calmly. He is somehow… more relaxed. More… confident,” Aoyanagi noted. 

“Risa…” 

“When did it happen?” Aoyanagi asked. Shizuka bit into her lip, chewing onto it quite nervously. Instead of responding, she posed her own question. 

“Do you like him, Risa?” 

Shizuka was a bit anxious about hearing the response. After all, she knew better than anyone else that it was possible to like two guys at the same time. Why wouldn’t Risa be the same?

“Well… I would be lying if I said there wasn’t something there. He is a likable guy. He is handsome in his own way and even his strictness adds certain appeal to him. But, in terms of liking, I like guys who are more… assertive. Younger. Who go for what they want. And while there’s a slight crush, that I believe is mutual… it’s just that. A crush, and nothing more.”

Shizuka felt ashamed for feeling relieved in that moment. She also felt selfish for feeling it. 

“If you wonder what happened that night… it’s like I told you. We just got drunk. One of the reasons I prefer not ingesting alcohol is… that lack of control. We kissed. We touched, but it wasn’t even heavy petting. Whatever he told you… was probably to trigger something in you. Preferably jealousy, if I know anything about Nobuchika.” 

She really knew him well. 

“Risa… would you consider… being with him instead of Kozuki?” Shizuka wondered, thinking how she needed more liquid courage to keep talking to Risa that freely. 

Risa laughed. “Well, if Kozuki died and Gino was still single, why not?” 

At least… Shizuka was drunk enough to laugh at that joke too. 

“Only then?” 

“Kozuki… is great in bed. Gino is… with all the respect and admiration from my part, just a beginner.” 

“About tha…” Shizuka begun, only to find herself stopping in time. 

“W… Shizu?” Risa was confused for a moment. “Oh. Are you saying he is…” 

“You kissed him, haven’t you?” Shizuka asked. “He kisses like a pro!” 

“Well, he was a bit aggressive and used a lot of tongue before I taught him how to tone it down,” Risa laughed. “He was sooo precious! But, when it comes to… well, sex… I guess you had the honor to correct his few insecurities…”

“He’s actually good in bed,” Shizuka whispered, not knowing why she had to share that with Risa of all people. “Even… during the first time. I expected him to be lame, honestly. I even thought I would have to take the whole initiative. I even tried to prepare myself mentally for it. But… Nobuchika… surprised me quite a bit. And I am not bragging when I say this.” 

Risa laughed at her expression. “Well, he is packed, so one could guess he’d learn a trick or two. What? I am not blind, come on. Anyone who paid some attention could tell that Gino is equipped.” 

“I honestly didn’t.” 

“No, because all you could think about was Kogami. Well, I can’t blame you, you are in tight spot. But, with Gino… how did it even happen? Knowing both of you, I am surprised it even came that far. If he is good… then how come? Could it be that he asked… Tomomi – san?”

“I can’t imagine how that conversation would go,” Shizuka admitted. “Well, according to Nobu, he was getting VR education. I don’t know whether that is true, but he… he is good.”  
Risa smiled. 

“And not only at sex, Shizu… he’s also quite good at reading you. The sole reason he brought me up was to trigger your rage… and possibly take you to bed.” 

Shizuka squeezed the glass. 

“Did he, then?” Risa asked.

“Did he what?” 

“Take you to bed again?” 

Shizuka covered her eyes with her hand while Risa emptied her glass. 

“The worst thing about it… is that it was purely physical. It’s like he’s… punishing me for not breaking up with Kogami.” 

“So, you… haven’t broken up with Kou? Did Gino actually ask you to break up with Shinya?” 

“He doesn’t have to, I know it’s expected of me. I guess it would be a natural, logical thing to do… but the thing is… I don’t know what I want from Gino at this point. I also don’t know how… to break up with someone who has more understanding for me than I deserve. Even now… even after knowing what I’ve done… with Gino of all people… he still forgives… and understands. How… do you break up with someone who’s like that?”

Shizuka realized the drink was starting to affect her. She was getting overly emotional. 

“You still love Shinya. It’s understandable.” 

“Somehow, Risa… I find it really hard to let him go. I’ve spent most of my adult life with him. Almost married him. Almost had his child. We even got together after his demotion. So… it feels unfair… to both him, and Nobuchika… to be stuck in this… this… well, I don’t know how to call it.” 

“The loop? Maybe you should ask yourself… why is it so hard to choose Gino over Kogami? Sure, you were involved with Shinya for the longest time. And sure, he understands… even forgives. But… maybe… it’s habitual. If he’s not… really upset over you sleeping with Gino… then, maybe…”

She didn’t even have to end that sentence. 

“I thought about it too. And I am terrified that I will find out that Kou is okay with… it because he just doesn’t love me as he used to.” 

She got that off her chest. It was in the air now. 

“But still, Risa… I still can’t do what’s in Gino’s best interest. Because, selfishly… I hold my own best interest in mind. And in my mind… that’s still Shinya.” 

Risa listened. She wasn’t someone who’d just say anything to comfort Shizuka. She also got Shizuka’s perspective on things. 

“Because Shinya understands you the way Nobu might never understand you. Your hue. Your ability. You feel safe around Kou, regardless of the circumstances. And you still love him. I am sure he feels the same around you. But maybe… and I am not saying this because I want to convince you to call things off with him for Nobuchika’s sake… but to help you exit that loop. Maybe you should be bold… and see how things develop if you put Gino in the first place, and not Kogami. Don’t get me wrong… I love Shinya too. I do think you two make a great couple. But, since you’re in this… situation with Nobuchika… maybe you should give him a chance to prove that this is not merely… physical. No matter how it seems right now. After all… someone who kept to himself for such a long time, wouldn’t just go and lose his virginity with just anyone. He’s not that kind of guy.” 

“He did almost sleep with you,” Shizuka laughed and Risa blushed a bit. 

“No… he would have stopped. We both would… much like we did. Because it felt… not only awkward… but like something we would regret later on. Not only because Gino was inexperienced… but also because he is my friend. And there’s just that… barricade.”

She smiled. “Not to mention that I still like my own Enforcer.” 

“Don’t I get that better than anyone else?” 

“All I can say… is… take your time. Do things at your own pace. You will eventually choose… and one of them will have to accept it. Just, don’t take too much time deciding... or you may end up losing them both.” 

Shizuka nodded. She was already aware of that possibility. She took Risa’s glass. 

“Let me get us a refill.” 

\--------------------------

She was reminiscing, thinking about her complicated love life… when she saw something that made her slow down and take a better look.

A tall, slim, slender man… with white hair… and pale complexion. He was standing far away… but was staring at her over the heads of other people in that club. He… was awfully familiar. She was looking, thinking how she must have seen him somewhere before. She just couldn’t tell where. He was… ethereally beautiful, handsome guy… but there was also something… eerie about his smile. 

Just as she walked towards him, a foreigner, probably a Korean, approached him and they started talking. Shizuka couldn’t quite hear what they were talking about… but she caught up the tone. Gentle, eerie tone that she heard once before. 

She dropped both glasses, which broke into shreds… and small, automated drones hurried to clean up the mess. A few heads turned towards her in surprise. He turned back to her as well. His lips curved into a serpentine smile that never touched his eyes. She couldn’t see his face well… but she could tell this was someone she needs to remember. 

The guy in the blue jacket next to him pulled him away as if they were in a hurry. 

“You…” she whispered, reaching for the guy in the white shirt. But, he was already out of her reach… like some phantasm. Dragged away by someone else. 

The blood froze in her veins. Suddenly, she could hear her own heart beating against her chest. She found Risa. 

“I’ve got to go.” 

“Shizu?” 

“I may have a lead.” 

She ran… and ran… and ran. Looking left and right. Looking at everyone. But… no matter how hard she tried… she just couldn’t see him anymore. It was as if he was swallowed by the city… and as if she just imagined seeing him altogether. 

She screamed at the top of her lungs. She didn’t know whether she could trust herself… and it was the most horrible feeling in the world.

There was only one person she could now go to. The only one who’d understand. And the only one who’d believe her.

\--------------------------------------

Kogami was beating his sandbag, putting more strength to his kick than he intended to. It was a particularly hard night for him… so he stayed up late, relieving his stress through an intense training session. A lot of things were on his mind… and a lot of frustration piled up in him. 

After he decided he had enough, he emptied the bottle of Anterctic Dorops over his head, trying to cool off. He also lit his cigarette, and walked over to the wall where he was piling up clues… staring at a particular photo. Dragging his smokes, observing and thinking in silence. 

Then, he heard knocking. It was hard… fast, as if the person behind that door was in a hurry. He opened, only to see Shizuka’s flustered expression. 

She didn’t say anything. He waited for her to get in. When she did, he closed the door behind them. She walked towards his room, right to the wall with clues, and stared at the picture. That picture. Of Sasayama’s… and now Kogami’s ghost. 

“He was in the city... half an hour ago. I saw him near me… but I still couldn’t see his face. He was standing within my reach… he even turned… but I couldn’t see him well. Still, he was there. I am sorry…”

Instead of saying anything, anything at all… Kogami reached for her. 

His arms were strong. His embrace was warm. She missed even that smell of nicotine all over him. She closed her eyes tightly. 

“I am not imagining things,” she was trying to reassure herself, not Shinya, “I saw him tonight.” Silence. Deep breathing. Panic was kicking in as a wave.

“I believe you,” he said, hugging her tightly. 

“I am afraid, though,” she whispered, burying her head into his chest. “If I open my eyes, I might discover you aren’t even real. My escapism… is backfiring. But, I am sure I saw him in the city. Of that much… I have to be sure.” 

She didn’t dare to open her eyes, or to let Shinya go. She was shuddering, wondering whether she was losing her mind.

“It’s real,” he said, caressing her hair. “And whatever trauma Sasayama’s killer has set into motion, your escapism isn’t fooling with you now. This is real. He is real. And I am real.” 

He lifted her chin up, making her look towards him. His grey eyes shone with determination. 

“We will find him. Don’t doubt yourself. And since it’s merely a tool… don’t let your escapism consume you. You are stronger than that. You always were. That’s why you are so good at managing that tricky ability of yours… remember? We will find his killer. This time… he just got lucky. And you did your best.” 

She hugged him, clinging to him tightly.

“I am sorry…” 

“Whatever for?” he asked. She gritted her teeth. 

“For letting him escape,” she responded.

Kogami wrapped his hands around her waist. He lift her up, gently, supporting her weight with his arms.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he said. He carried her towards his bed, gently putting her down.

And while his movements were gentle, his eyes were burning. He was waiting for a reaction, for anything at all. 

It was an impulse more than anything else. She pulled him into a kiss, feeling her heart might explode along the way.


	4. Violent Urges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If it was simple, it wouldn't be a triangle. 
> 
> _As always, thanks for being patient with me! All comments and reviews are welcome. Kudos too, since they help me prioritize stories :) Stay tuned for the next chapter and stay safe! Love and hugs from me to all of you._

**PART - Violent Urges**

“Don’t beat yourself over it so much,” Kogami said, looking at strands of her hair in front of him. 

Shizuka was lying on his arm, and he was hugging her from behind. She enjoyed the familiar sense of his warmth, the strong heartbeat against her torso. She was playing with his fingers, thinking how this felt entirely like she’s at home. He was her home. Her family. And yet… she was restless. The sentiment lingered underneath, waiting to be resolved.

“I should have looked better. If I only stood closer...”

“You would if you could. We will get him somehow. Types like those… never lay low for too long.”

He was reassuring himself as he was trying to reassure her.

“There's still something I can do,” she figured, rising up. Kogami looked at her, wondering what she had in mind.

“No,” he figured. And he didn't like it. “It's too risky, Shizuka.”

“It may be worth the try,” she said. 

“You don't...”

“No, Shinya... I must.”

She already made up her mind. Kogami rushed to put some clothes on, annoyed by how stubborn she could sometimes be. 

\-------------------------------

City was glimmering in multi-colored neon lights, per usual. Night time was truly a wonderful time to observe the urban landscapes. How the technology has developed. How well it has progressed. Ironically, the humanity seemed to regress with it. It deteriorated, relying heavily on the machines, AI and other technical advances that made the life pleasing. Easier. With each passing generation, humanity seemed to get more and more rotten, more disappointing… relying on the pre-defined choices rather than making choices of their own. Comfort had a price. Where has the free will disappeared? Could they still count themselves as humans? Instead of evolving, they awfully devolved. Such a depressing thought. 

“It was risky to meet up in the open,” Choe Gu Song interrupted the silence along with Makishima’s thoughts. “What are you going to do if she manages to identify you?” 

Makishima smiled at this curiosity. It was almost as if he wanted Akibara to identify him. 

“We were standing too far for her to get a clear visual. Of that… I made sure,” he softly responded to his friend. There were a lot of smoke effects in that club. A lot of people, and some of them even had white hair. That aside… the girl wasn’t exactly the most reliable witness, being an escapist.

“Were you that intrigued that you had to risk it, though?” Choe Gu Song wanted to know. He took a seat next to Makishima, who closed the book he was holding. 

“Weren’t you as well? Akibara Shizuka is one of those types that Sibyl can’t categorize. She is neither criminally asymptomatic… nor is she a regular citizen. Which makes her quite interesting to both Sibyl… and me.” 

“It’s rather strange, this… escapism. Was it inherited… or induced by her father?” Choe wondered. “According to data… the criminal psychologist had really high propensity for violence. He did some unethical things during his ‘treatments’. And he treated not only his patients, but also his family, for various reasons.” 

“Sure, the father could have been the cause due to which her escapism originated from. He was violent, which probably enabled her defense mechanism, but as far as we know… the mother might be the cause too. If not the cause, then a relevant factor. Most certainly,” Makishima was thinking. 

“Mother, huh? Interesting theory.” 

“Akibara Hana. Treated at their home, by Akibara Ayumu himself. With Akibara sisters around. Surely, we can ask ‘why’ and ‘how’ Inspector’s escapism started. But maybe ‘when’ is the answer to both.”

“By the classified records, it’s stated around when she was seven.”

“That’s the thing that puzzles me. Are escapists born… or made? Most likely made.” 

“If so... how’s approving of and keeping escapists beneficial to Sibyl? And if Sibyl still deems her… Akibara… fit to work for Bureau… then the system estimated that she isn’t dangerous,” Choe said. 

“More like… it keeps an eye on her precisely because she is dangerous. Escapists are phenomenon in modern society. While many people are capable of coping through escaping… escapists literally ‘live’ in their changed reality. Their brains are differently wired… which is fascinating. They are able to detach from reality more than others are.”

“It’s a luxury in this time and age, since mental stability is so fragile.”

Makishima agreed. 

“It’s also a bit sad. Don’t you think? To feel so out of the society that you never really fit, no matter how hard you try. If you need to escape, it means you just aren’t happy.” 

Choe knew this felt familiar for Shogo. 

“Indeed,” he confirmed. “Or she might just be over-privileged. Escapism is rather convenient. I am honestly surprised more people aren’t trying it.” 

“They are scared to engage that method, regardless of the latest political debates. There are too many escapists who succumb to the after-effects. Escapism can permanently damage you… leave you catatonic or in comatose state if over-used. I am surprised our Inspector supposedly recovered from the Butcher case. Something like that stays with you.”

“Is that why you showed up in front of her? To make her… relapse or something?” Choe sometimes couldn’t tell what Makishima’s true intentions were, unless Shogo explained it himself. But, Choe’s guesses were correct for most of the time when Shogo was concerned. 

“That’s right. I wanted to see her reaction, and whether she would recognize my voice. If she recalled the most stressful event in her life, assuming the Butcher case was the most stressful point for her… she might have reverted to her previous state.” 

When Shizuka was held captive by Ichiro and put under extreme, stressful, sadistic and violent situations… which, as a consequence, triggered her escapism… Makishima observed. Her expression changed in seconds - from tormented features, distorted by pain, by unbearable suffering… she suddenly went still, calm, like her mind just shut down. 

Her eyes were glassy, her mouth slightly opened… and her posture completely like in hibernation. Her mind literally shielded her from the trauma by producing lasting imaginary setting. It was like she just linked onto her personal virtual reality, much more real than reality itself in that moment. One could almost envy her ability, hadn’t it been so lethal to similar users. 

Someone with ability like that… was able to shake the core of the system such as Sibyl. Even more so if they take additional training, and by her record, Shizuka had plenty of sessions. So why… didn’t the system imprison her just yet? Makishima smiled. 

“The system is challenging her. I just wonder whose side she will take, once the reality becomes too unbearable for her, or intolerant to those like her.” 

“Can she become asymptomatic?” Choe looked at his associate. 

“That’s exactly what we have to observe… during these missions of ours. It will make for an interesting addition for studying if nothing else.” 

According to what he knew… asymptomatic people were born like that. Could they be made, though? How thick is the line between an escapist and an asymptomatic person? 

“Well, I don’t have to tell you to be careful. I think we should lay low for the time being, given how quickly she acted tonight,” Choe stated. 

Makishima was still smiling. 

“Those keen noses of inspectors. I just wanted to see how she’d act… if she had at least some lead to follow. She was better than I expected. Maybe she…” 

Makishima’s eyes glowed as lights reflected in them. He didn’t finish the thought. 

“Maybe… what?” Choe asked. He had a hunch that Makishima had a plan that differed to his original intent. Which meant only one thing. 

“She doesn’t get it yet. But, in time, maybe she will. And just maybe…” Shogo’s golden eyes turned towards to Choe… 

“Are you really considering her as possible ally?” Choe asked. 

“She would make rather exceptional tool against Sibyl. As far as I can see, she is half way there anyway. So, if presented with the chance… why not?” 

“Her moral compass, for one,” Choe shrugged his shoulders, “… and do I even have to bring up how you assisted the killer she worked so hard on bringing down, and who almost raped and killed her?”

“Regardless, it might be worth a try to talk her into investigating the system. If provided with the push in the right direction, or given the right motivation, she might even be persuaded. Stranger things have happened. And though the chances are slim, it would be fun to try. After all, escapists are labile, and prone to suggestive manipulations. They always oscillate. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have someone obstruct the system on the inside?”

Choe smiled this time. Makishima’s ideas were unconventional for most of the time, but they weren’t undoable. The man proved that himself. Maybe she won’t be so hard to convince... if Makishima was the one doing the persuasion.

“Whatever suits you. Just... be careful along the way.”

“Don’t worry, my friend. There’s no conclusive evidence linking me to the Butcher case… or any other case. Mainly thanks to you. I won’t forget that. It also helps that I don’t have too many personal information out in the open, so even if she makes some kind of connection, I am confident that I will be able to handle it.”

“Just so we are clear… you don’t really think you’ll be successful in convincing her… do you?”

They had to be realistic about it.

“No, not really. But you have to admit… the thought is entertaining.” 

“Truly,” Choe agreed. Akibara helping to expose the system would make for a really formidable story. Splendorous one, even. And like Shougo said… quite entertaining. 

Makishima reached for the book, and continued reading from where he stopped. He must have really liked Orwell. 

Choe opened his laptop, where the profile from CID was still opened. Shizuka’s most recent photo switched the last one from when she was Shepherd Two. Her looks changed… the data too. Her badge number contained a different ranking. 

“Akibara is promoted. She is a senior Investigator now.”

Shogo lowered the book again, looking at Choe.

“Keep your enemies closer, huh?” 

It made him smile. Shogo continued: 

“Something’s wrong in Paradise. They are already at odds, Sibyl system and Akibara Shizuka. There might be a way to approach our dear Inspector, even if I don’t directly do the approaching.” 

The hacker next to him was typing, looking at several different terminals and opened tabs at once. Something was happening. 

“Makishima…” he noticed something in the side-terminal he left open. Shougo leaned, looking at screen himself. 

“Is that…”

Choe didn’t respond. He was now typing with a serious expression which Makishima rarely saw on his face. 

**_\------ about fifteen minutes before -----_ **

The sound of electronic bell made Shion grimace. 

“Who on Earth could it be at this hour? Just let me sleep…” 

She hated being awakened in the middle of the night. Yayoi silently moved, ready to get up too.

Shion sighed, putting her nightgown on, then a bath robe over it. Yayoi was already in her shirt, buttoning it up.

“Karanomori?” Shizuka’s voice was the last thing Shion wanted to hear in that moment. Shion signalized to Yayoi to go back to bed, but her lover refused, and was already putting her pants on. Shion sighed again. 

“This better be worth it, Shizu-chan!” Shion opened, and let Shizuka in, accompanied by…

“Sninya!” Shion was honestly surprised. “Are you two still working, or…” 

Kogami wore his training navy-blue shirt and matching gym trousers. Shizuka wore a tight black cocktail jumpsuit, and obviously wasn’t working. Judging by their appearances, they weren’t partying together. Shizuka seemed stressed, though. 

“Inspector?” someone spoke. 

“Kunizuka…” Shizuka only then noticed the beautiful girl who stood behind Shion. “Sorry for interrupting… but this is rather urgent.”

“My, my…” Shion run her fingers through her hair, sighing again. “To the lab?” 

“Yes, please.” 

“Do you require assistance?” Yayoi asked both of her colleagues.

“No. In fact… it’s probably for the best if you forgot all about seeing us tonight,” Shizuka said. Kogami didn’t speak, he obviously wasn’t pleased by Shizuka’s behavior.

Yayoi slowly nodded, putting her hand on Shizuka’s shoulder. 

“If you need anything…” 

“Thank you, Yayoi. I really appreciate it.” 

Shion only then noticed Shinya’s expression. He seemed… 

“He disagrees with this,” Shizuka explained, and Kogami glared at her. His posture was stiff, both of his hands were pressed firmly on his hips, and he looked very discontent with his superior. Shizuka wasn’t looking at him. 

“It’s not only unnecessary, it’s uncalled for, and quite dangerous. It also won’t be of any use, Inspector,” he stated.

“Now you really sound like him,” Shizuka was actually bitter towards Shinya. Shion felt she should interrupt before they start arguing in front of her. 

“Let’s go,” Shion led the way out, and they both followed. The atmosphere was getting pretty heavy. Karanomori opened the lab using her card, and Shinya frowned, looking at Shizuka who already powered up the chair, connected the helmet and put it on her head. Shion sat at her usual place, and activated her account. 

“So, tell me… what are we doing?” Shion asked. Kogami crossed his hands on his chest. 

“Memory scoop, Shion. From roughly two hours ago, and from this evening,” Shizuka explained. 

“Mem… wait. Shinya…” 

“She won’t listen to me,” he exclaimed. “She pulled her rank on me, and she will do the same to you. Don’t bother.” 

“By the authority bestowed upon me by Sibyl, I require your assistance, Shion,” Shizuka recited, leaning into the chair.

“For such a cute girl, you can really be pain in the ass sometimes, you know?” blonde sighed, took a cigarette, and started the procedure, powering the helmet up. 

“Can I get one?” Kogami forgot Spinel in his residence, so Shion was more than happy to provide her Slims to him. They lit their cigarettes, looking at fast numerical scanning that appeared on the monitor. 

“What are we looking for, Shizu?” Shion asked. Shizuka was focusing the best she could. Stress won't do any good. 

“The target is male. Young. From twenty to forty years old, dressed in white shirt, dark trousers. Has a white hair. There was also a foreign companion, possibly Korean.”

**_\------ meanwhile ------_ **

Choe accessed the street scanner, quickly typing on his keyboard. 

“What is…” 

“She’s… currently connected to some sort of equipment. Helmet.” 

Choe was destroying any public visuals that could incriminate Makishima and him, deleting pictures from all areas where scanners could have picked up on them. He had a difficulty with accessing CID’s terminal now. Someone good was operating in the lab. 

“That device connects to people’s hippocampus, it extracts from temporal lobes.”

“Oh?” Makishima was amused. “She’s accessing her memories then! I wonder… what is she doing with those.” 

Choe’s expression got even more serious. He had an idea.

\----------------------------

“The Hell?” Shion noticed something unusual. The terminal that she was working on looked suspicious. It was a moment, but in that moment, she had this eerie feeling that something was among those lines of code. She immediately switched to another channel, substituting the procedure, and terminating, then blocking out what she previously used. 

She run additional safety program, heavily defending against any hidden threats from the web. 

\----------------------------

“It’s exceptionally hard to hack. Whomever is doing the analysis is good at preventing me from getting close,” Choe briefed to Makishima, who was composed even then.

“As expected of Sibyl,” Shogo said. 

\---------------------------- 

“What happened?” Kogami asked. 

“For a moment… it was as if someone was here with us. I must be getting paranoid or something.” 

Shion hoped it was just that. False alarm. Shizuka gritted her teeth, but the pain was growing stronger. She couldn’t bear it, so she let out a scream.

“Shizuka?!” Shion rose from her seat. Kogami was already next to her, firmly grabbing her hand. 

\-----------------------------

“I lost the link,” Choe admitted his defeat. “I can’t tell whether they succeeded in extraction or not. I am completely blocked out.” 

“You can’t retrace the hack?” Makishima asked. 

“Piggyback the link, you mean? No. That lab is protected as NONA tower itself. There’s no chance I can access it now.” 

Makishima leaned on the seat, thinking. 

“Such a shame. What about street scanners? The web?”

“All deleted. But, if Akibara…” 

“Memories are tricky. Something tells me we don’t have to worry about a single thing,” Makishima stated. 

\------------------------------

_Don’t think of anything other than tonight. The party. Aoyanagi. The crowd. The crowd… the crowd… don’t visualize. Focus. Don’t let anything slip. They are watching._

She suppressed her thoughts. Her escapism has to block anything else. Any other night. Any other person. 

“Shizuka, breathe in.” 

_"Maybe you should ask yourself… why is it so hard to choose Gino over Kogami?”_

_Damn._

“Breathe out…” 

Aoyanagi’s face appeared on the screen. 

“No. No, no…” 

_"Sure, you were ------------ Shinya ---------- and sure --------- even forgives. But… maybe… it’s habitual. If he’s not… really upset over ---------slee----- Gin----------then, maybe…”_

_“I am -------------- terrified that I will ------------- Kou is okay with… it becau------------- n’t love me as he used to.”_

It slipped. Pieces of it anyway. Damn. Damn it. She screamed from the pain again, it felt like it was splitting her head in half. Tears were biological response to it. 

_“But ------------ can’t do --------- what’s in Gin ----------- best inter------- own best ------est in mind. And in ----------- still Shinya.”_

But finally… it was there. The tall, slim figure. Ethereal, handsome look, eerie, snake-like smirk. But all blurry. Just hair… just clothes… and he merged into the smoke and the crowd, quickly disappearing just like he appeared. Shizuka screamed, but this time, out of pure frustration. With her free hand, she reached for an image as if she could grab that man with her hands. Kogami pushed her back into the seat. No… no… no… 

_“Orwell, in Nineteen ei-----------, states that reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. Her reality is ----------- in this moment; any kind of comfort ---------- occupied her mind b------------preparing her is what she is engulfed by. ------------ fascinating.”_

“Karanomori!” Kogami yelled.

“I am recording!” the blonde responded. “But audio samples from scoops are always unreliable!”

“Just keep on recording these,” Kogami held Shizuka, who couldn’t stop remembering now. The first voice belonged to the Butcher. The second one… 

_“She can drift away to anything and anyone she wants. This will only end up one way.”_

_“Before that… can you measure her hue?”_

_“Does it even matter?”_

_“I am merely curious. After all, this is the first time I am witnessing an escapist doing a successful escapism at this level. I wonder about her state.”_

_“It’s 132. She’s already over the edge.”_

She stopped it all. She screamed again. Loudly, in high pitch, which was contrasting her natural voice.

“Shinya, her hue…” Karanomori warned, reading the parameters. It was getting clouded… at the express rate. 

“Snap out of it. Come on,” Kogami dug both of his hands into her shoulders, squeezing them. “Come on, Shizuka!” 

Spasms started, she felt them throughout her whole body. He shook her. 

“SHIZUKA!” 

No response. 

Kogami forcefully tore the cables, disconnecting the helmet and the rest of equipment from the chair. Karanomori already powered the equipment down, and Shinya held Shizuka for a bit… until she managed to compose herself. With trembling hands, Shizuka removed the helmet. She was very upset. 

“What did this one do to make you so...?” Shion was sorting captured photos that could match the description of the suspicious person Kogami and Akibara were after. 

“Capture… that one. There. There. Zoom in,” Kogami instructed, completely aiming his focus onto that man. The image wasn’t clear. It was blurry, much like the picture he already had from Sasayama’s terminal… but she got closer. She saw him. This was another visual, a bit clearer from the last photo that Sasayama took. 

Karanomori was running the scan in hope to get a match. This one had to be somewhere in the system. Anywhere. 

Please... find him. Please...

“It’s him,” Shizuka covered her mouth with her hand, and pressed the other to her stomach. “I know it’s him!” she repeated, furious at her inability to provide a better photo. But that was the same person who assisted the Butcher when he held Shizuka in that cell. 

“Zoom it in,” Kogami asked of Shion, who tried, but magnification wasn’t working anymore. It was the furthest she could have enlarged the photo. Shion took a smoke, irritated. 

There wasn’t any visual match for this guy, whoever he was. Audio analysis didn’t provide results either. Those were some serious dead-ends.

“I am sorry, you two. This one was standing too far.” 

Shizuka was staring at the screen… reminded of what kind of mess was in her mind. She was so mad that she kept clenching her fists. 

“Print that, please,” Kogami asked. Shion provided the clearest image she could make and handed it to Shinya. Shizuka spoke then in a very apologetic manner. 

“Sorry I’ve put you through this, Shion. This is someone I was looking for… but it’s another dead-end, it seems. I have one more request, if that’s okay with you.”

“Do tell, Aki-chan.”

“Don’t mention this to anyone. I am working on this out of jurisdiction. That’s why I couldn’t call you before arriving. I didn’t want to be... overheard.”

“Damn it, Shizu-chan. No wonder Shinya didn’t want you to do it.”

She looked at her record. 

“Your hue…”

“It will be fine,” Shizuka said. “Please… can you keep this between us?”

“Sure… don’t worry about it,” Shion promised. “But I will have to keep the log.”

“I understand. It’s okay. Just… don’t tell others.”

“No problem.”

They stood there in silence. 

“Well, if that’s all… I need to return to bed,” Shion said.

“Okay. I am sorry,” Shizuka apologized again, lowering her head.

“Don’t be. We can’t always get what we want,” Shion remarked. Kogami was looking at the photo, lost in thoughts only known to him. Unable to live with herself in that moment, Shizuka headed out first. Shion followed, keeping the door so Shinya could pass.

“Inspector Akibara,” Shion called, “you have to escort your Enforcers back to their rooms, you know. It’s your duty.”

Shion winked. She was doing this on purpose, in attempt to improve things between Shinya and Shizuka. Inspector was aware. But, it won't really help them. Not this night. 

“Let’s go, then,” she mumbled.

“I am close by, though. Shinya isn’t,” Shion added fuel to the fire, and just laughed at Shizuka’s expression. Kogami looked at his blonde colleague, frowning. 

“For such a beautiful woman, you can really be pain in the ass, Shion,” Akibara said.

“Good night, you two,” Shion saluted, leaving them to settle the rest on their own.

\------------------------------------

They didn’t talk along the way. 

Kogami kept looking at the photo, thinking how, regardless of what she considered failure… this was proof that he wasn’t insane for chasing Sasayama’s alleged ghost. The same ghost in two different timelines… that was something that put his mind a bit more to ease. He was real. This was real. And he didn’t only assist Sasayama’s killer… he obviously assisted Shizuka’s torturer, the Butcher. He was an accomplice in multiple crimes, this one. 

Shizuka was tired. Shaken. She was still slightly trembling from the whole thing. 

“I am going home, Kogami. You can go on your own from…” 

“ _Kogami_ , huh? Aren’t you going to follow me to my residence, Senior Inspector?” he asked. She finally looked at him. Still holding onto that photo, like it meant anything.

“You have my permission…” she started. 

“But you also have responsibility, Akibara-san,” he said. It was a signal to mend this... whatever this dispute was about. 

Their eyes met. He walked ahead and she followed him, unwilling to talk about the failure she was responsible for. 

But Shinya needed an explanation. 

\------------------------

They went straight to his room, where he pinned the photo next to Sasayama’s image. He compared visuals. It was the same guy. Kogami knew it was a small step forward... but it was a step. 

“Should I tuck you in while I’m here, officer Kogami?” Shizuka asked, leaning to the door. Her ironical remark reminded him of times when they used to fight... but they never fought for more than a few days. 

“I wouldn’t mind that, Senior Inspector. I wouldn’t mind it at all,” he responded, casually removing his shirt, pretending not to notice her glance, or intentional avoidance of his abs. It was distracting to her. He was glad. Some things still haven't changed. 

Kogami reached for the Spinel pack on the desk, and pulled a cigarette out. He put it between his lips, then lit it. Drag of the nicotine helped him calm down. 

“I have to…” she begun, but he interrupted. 

“No, you don’t,” Kogami turned towards her, piercing her with his pale gaze. "What you have to do, is talk to me. And I mean really talk to me." 

Shizuka, who was already on the edge, suddenly snapped.

“I am sorry, okay?!” she yelled. Shinya took another long, heavy drag of smoke. She was suppressing it, calming down by will. But her will was overruled by the emotional pressure. Shinya himself was in similar state.

“You just had to risk it. You just had to try it,” he said, still mad at her for insisting to do the memory scoop.

“You were right. I was wrong. Is that what you want to hear?” she asked, fighting the despair she was feeling among other things.

“No. I just wanted you to be well. That’s all. Even some despicable latent criminal such as myself... can’t support the gravity of procedure that is memory scoop.”

“My hue was fine. And it will be fine!” she insisted. It will. She will somehow manage it.

“Except it isn’t fine… is it?” Kogami said. “Weight of the risk wasn’t worth the result in this case. You knew it. You just had to do something… anything… to make yourself feel better for losing the trail of him tonight.” 

He exhaled the fume. She gritted her teeth. 

“I had to do it. You were right about that too. And I am fool… for trying. I failed myself… and I failed you once more. Lately, it feels like failing is the only thing that I am good at.” 

“You haven’t failed me, regardless of what you may think now.”

“Oh, don’t try to comfort me, Shinya!!” she impatiently yelled. It slipped… just like those memories did. She was so ashamed of him seeing pieces of those memories. 

“ _Shinya?_ ” he repeated, smiling before dragging some more of his cigarette. 

“Kogami,” she corrected herself. “This is truly…” 

But Kogami Shinya knew her better than anyone else ever did. 

“This isn’t about your inability to capture him, Shizuka. This is about something else. Come on. Let's not delay talking about it any longer.”

Kogami stepped towards her, lowering the end of the cigarette in the ashtray. The way she was avoiding looking at him now confirmed his assumptions.

He put his arm against the door to prevent her from trying to evade this conversation. 

“I am sorry about not being able to capture that person tonight. I was drinking, I wasn't paying enough attention. I wasn't expecting him, I was caught up... in my own... personal...” she whispered, stiffening against the surface behind her. Words were failing her. 

“Life. You were caught up in real problems, from your real life. No one expects you to be Inspector twenty four hours a day. It's understandable you took some time for yourself. That you had a chat with a friend you could confide in. And it's understandable you two were talking about... two men who are currently making chaos out of your love life. It's natural you two would debate... who is better choice. But what in the world made you think... that I don't love you like I used to?” 

The suspense was leaving her breathless. Him, being this close, caused the same feeling she always had around him. Wasn't this going to change after... Gino?

“What is left for you to love in me?” she asked, shuddering. She closed her own arms around her shoulders, feeling really horrible about what she did to him. 

Kogami wondered where this came from.

“Are you serious?”

“Maybe it's time... to... reconsider someone who'll treat you differently. Better than I did. Who might be a better match,” she had a hard time saying it, but she still had to say it. It was only fair. And fair could really hurt sometimes.

“Do you have anyone particular in mind?” Shinya raised an eyebrow.

“You must have noticed. Come on, Shinya, you aren't that oblivious. She isn't hiding it all too well,” Shizuka pointed out. 

“Akibara Shizuka... don't tell me you are jealous of the newbie girl. She knows me for about... what, a week? Also... must I remind you that she shot me with a Dominator? Not the best start of a love story if you ask me,” Kogami said. 

“I knew you for about an hour before I realized I liked you romantically,” Shizuka said. “And while you may not think so, you are appealing, and very charismatic person. It's no wonder she already likes you. You two would be a good match. About ninety percent good.”

Kogami's eyebrow twitched. For a second, but it did. 

“You figured it all out, didn't you?” Kogami then smiled, closing the space between them. “You even found me a girl. Made a comparative analysis, even. Is that how badly you want to end things with me?”

He wasn't sure he wanted the answer.

“She would probably be a better match,” Shizuka said, admitting to herself that she was a bit envious of the girl. Tsunemori had gentle nature. She was smart. She scored seven hundred points and she was top of her class. And although she was still learning to function in the system... her heart was in the right place. Shizuka could tell. Shizuka liked her... so why wouldn't Shinya? Shinya could also like her in a way that Shizuka couldn't. 

“You are forgetting the most crucial thing,” Kogami remarked. “She's an Inspector... and I am an Enforcer. Only one Inspector is foolish enough to get involved with her Hound,” he teased. 

“Except Risa is with Ryougo too,” Shizuka pointed out. 

“Ah. Well... maybe there are more foolish Inspectors than I thought there were. The point still stands.”

“I think Akane...”

“Shizuka... stop. Those are all lame excuses for calling things off with me,” he said. “Unless you give me stronger reason... like, tell me you are leaving me for Gino... I won't take it seriously. And I won't accept anything else.”

She sighed. He will, once he realizes Akane's qualities. She could tell. Being well versed in psychology meant she read people well. For the most part.

“It's not about...”

“No? Well, I see he got you well the last time. I didn't know he could be so sly... our Nobuchika,” Shinya smiled again, not without irritation. He towered over her.

She gasped, feeling Shinya's warmth. His words made her blush... out of shame... because of memories she was glad Shinya didn't see. 

His hand slid next to her, not touching her, but creating that sense of longing... to be touched. She instinctively bit into her lip, unaware of what effect that movement alone caused in Shinya.

“He got you so conflicted that you are seriously considering breaking up with me... based on the sense of guilt alone,” Kogami stated. 

“How are you not disgusted by me?” she asked. “I would understand if you hated me. I would understand if you yelled at me... even if you punched me, or threw something... if you made any kind of scene. But... I can't understand how you are fine with me... cheating on you with your best friend. How can you be so calm, and act as if nothing major hasn't changed... as if I hadn't betrayed you in the worst way possible!”

Kogami's expression changed for a moment. He seemed more serious. 

“I wasn't fine any more than Gino was when he felt that we cheated on him the first time we got together,” he said. “Would you prefer if I showed how I truly felt? If I caused a scene?”

“No... of course not. But... maybe you took my betrayal so calmly... because you just don't care about me the way you used to. And it's fine if that's the case... I don't have any right to complain...”

“Calmly? Every time I think of you and him... every single time... I get the most violent urges you can imagine,” Kogami said, clenching both of his hands into fists. He took a moment to cool it off, using both of his arms to keep her against the door. 

“Haven't you heard, my dear Inspector? I am a latent criminal. It's in my very nature to suppress any violent urge I get. And so, I keep suppressing them. If it looks to you like I am calm... then maybe you don't know me as well as I thought you did.” 

Kogami lowered his head, looking closely in her eyes now. 

“I am so sorry,” she whispered.

“For being in love with him?” Kogami asked. 

“For not being able to keep what we had,” she said. 

He leaned against her, now feeling her heartbeat. She stopped breathing, sensing the tension more than before. 

“I could say the same, considering how I was the one who got demoted. I was the first one to ruin what we had, so... don't apologize for that.”

Kogami made it unbearable for her. His proximity just... did things to her. She inhaled, realizing something.

“You two are the same,” she whispered. “You always were. The way you both act... the way you both make me feel...”

Even if the situation was somehow reversed... even if Gino was the one she used to have a life with... Shinya would be in the picture, and the situation would still end up the same. She would always end up being tempted by the one she couldn't have. And she would still end up unsure of which one to choose. Most likely, anyway. 

“We aren't the same. But, we happen to want the same thing,” Kogami said. 

“Do you really?”

“I know that you love him. You always did, in a way. It wouldn't be such a mess if it was only lust. But, like you love him, I know you still love me. And I know it's not the only thing you feel when we are together,” Kogami said, brushing his lips against hers. She gasped, accepting the beginning of the kiss... and Kogami slowly bit into her lip, pulling it with his teeth before sucking on it. That kiss was fierce. There was anger in his passion, anger that only passion could satisfy. She lost her breath, overwhelmed by the sensation. She kissed him back, hungrily, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

“There she is,” he whispered on her lips, “there's my girl. And if you wonder if this is a habit... then, know... if it is, it's the best habit in the world.”

Another kiss reassured her... of his feelings for her. One kiss more... and she was completely consumed by the fire. 

“If you want to stop... now's the time. I don't think I can control myself any longer,” he admitted. And Hound out of control was a challenge to her. She put her temple against his, trying to calm the storm that was rising within her. She closed her eyes, controlling her breathing. She was thinking.

For the first time, Shinya wasn't sure... of how she'd act. Of what she will choose. 

And it made him rather anxious.


	5. Revert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **In the ring again.**
> 
> WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT AHEAD.
> 
> It took some time to upload this since I am aware you won't like the course of the story. I do apologize if it's not to your liking, I just planned it like this a while ago and no matter how many times I rewrote it, it just felt off so I just kept this version.
> 
> I am sorry if this was a disappointing chapter to all of you GinAki shippers, I will work harder on the story when I get better. Stay well and safe and as always, I love you all.
> 
> As always, comments are appreciated! Kudos show me how to prioritize stories and what to update next, but don't feel pressured to like if you didn't like the content. Bookmark if you don't want to miss an update because I sometimes upload multiple fanfictions in the same day. :)))

**PART 5 - Revert**

“If you are choosing between the two people…” Kogami was looking at her in way that made her blood rush into her cheeks, “it’s generally advised you choose the second one. Because the fact that you are considering the second one…”

“… means that the first one was lacking in some manner,” she finished that statement. “So I’ve heard. But what’s a girl to do if neither one is lacking, really?”

“Guess the girl is in the tight spot, then,” he stated, corner of his lips indicated a faint smile. “Which begs the question… am I the first one… or the second one in this all?”

He was too attractive to her, and that wasn’t going to change overnight. Even if that night happened to be with Ginoza. Even if there were several nights as well. Gradually, it might change, but in that very moment…

“You are more than an option, if that’s what you’re wondering,” she mumbled, not wanting to label either him or Gino. “You know… for all I did with him, I still can’t tell you to stop,” she said, biting her lip. “And for all that I feel for him… I still can’t commit to him because of you. I am the worst of the worst.”

He smiled at her remark. “Well, you won’t hear me complaining. For one, I am glad you can’t make up your mind yet.”

“Don’t,” she whispered, breathing heavily.

“Don’t… what?” he asked, almost naively. With the presence that was impossible to resist, he towered over her, making her feel the full intensity of their mutual attraction towards one another. It was hovering in the air, waiting to be released.

“Don’t make it sound like it isn’t a big deal,” she said, looking away. Guilt and lust didn’t mix well.

Another pleased smile showed on Kogami’s lips for a moment. His momentarily insecurity was shrugged off by seeing how difficult it was for her.

“Why not, though?” he whispered in her ear, placing his palms against the wall, provoking her. Cornering her… like prey. He wouldn’t do anything to make her uncomfortable... but he would do a thing or two to make her aroused. He was exceptionally glad to see her like this once again. That tormented expression of hers… only meant she was under tension. Sexual tension. And a lot of it.

Because of him.

It lifted a gruesome burden off his chest… knowing that it wasn’t really over. Not as long as that fire keeps lingering in the both of them. Regardless of what Gino does… as long as that feeling exists… Kogami wasn’t about to let her go. Not by a long mile. Not while he still had a chance.

“Because it’s hard, finding myself between the two of you. Having to make this… decision,” she said, leaning against the wall again, trying to clear her head, pressing her fingers against the cold stone just so she could stop herself from heading towards him. Her body desperately wanted to move… she wanted to feel his firmness, his warmth, that strength of his. She wanted to grab him and not let him go until he filled her up entirely. That kind of lust… was dangerous. It was contagious.

“You are the one who has to make it, though. Neither me nor him will make this any easier, for we are stubborn like that. You know how we are.”

“Shinya…”

“Eyes up.”

She looked at him, her pupils dilated; her pulse was so quick it made her produce small, incoherent gasps, all while trying to stay calm.

Whatever Gino did to her was severe enough to shake her to the very core… to change the foundation of their relationship… but evidently… it wasn’t irreversible yet.

“It’s really not that complicated, so don’t make it,” he stated, slowly moving his lips towards her neck. He didn’t put them on her skin… but the lingering was definitely there. She trembled, feeling his breath cooling her warm skin. Knowing the small agony he put her into, he lazily moved up, putting his cheek next to hers. All that untouchable touching. The spark of promise… making her want him so badly. All it took was subtle, sly ignition to slowly drive her restless.

“I am…”

“You owe nothing to me. What we used to have… what we were supposed to become... has nothing to do with this, so if that’s holding you from choosing him… consider yourself free. I don’t want to force anything on you.”

His tone got low. His muscles tensed. She gasped.

“You never forced anything. Do you realize you are a perfect boyfriend?”

“Hard to break up with?” he smiled.

“Immensely,” she retorted shortly, blushing along the way.

“Latent criminal over here, Inspector. That’s hardly the perfect boyfriend.”

“That’s not an issue.”

“If you don’t want me… all you have to do is say it… and walk out of that door,” he spoke next to her ear. “If this is unbearable to you… we should just stop here. No hard feelings, no further dilemma… no resentment. I will let you move forward with him, I won’t stand in your way. That’s a promise. Hell, I’ll even support you. I will be who you want me to be. I’ll even agree to wear a facade of the amicable former partner with whom you’ve reached an agreement, Senior Inspector. I am not an unreasonable man. So… do what’s best for your hue, and I’ll respect your wish.”

Shizuka wanted to hate how he teased her… but she couldn’t. Not when he did it so well.

“Is that what you want, Enforcer?” she asked.

Gino will never side with her like Kogami does. He will always check on her hue, doubt her decisions, doubt her way of dealing with things even if she somehow becomes his boss instead of Kasei. She could have this kind of passion with Gino, sure… he proved it in more than one way… but will she ever have that support and understanding Kogami provides so effortlessly?

“Of course not,” he said. Her behavior made him thrilled. Granted, she shared her body with another man… and the best man possible, in his opinion… but to do it with Gino and still want Kogami this way meant that it was still worth fighting for her.

To degrade to a position of an Enforcer and still be wanted as man… that was something he didn’t intend to give up easily. It meant that she loved him even now. Even after sleeping with someone probably more befitting of her… with a better job position and better general perspective in life. She still couldn’t bring herself to break up with a disgraced latent criminal, unwanted by the society. It was love, un-watered down by pity and it couldn’t be habitual in nature even if some would argue.

While Gino could offer her stability, a comfortable life, control her hue and give her security and what not… she still didn’t think Nobuchika would ever understand her psychological structure. He wanted norms… and she found norms quite suffocating, especially as of lately.

His lips were close now, but he didn’t kiss her. She wanted to kiss him instead. She was close to doing so. But still…

“We swore we’d always be honest with each other. So, I have to try and stop you from doing something you’ll regret,” she turned her head so she wouldn’t have to fight the need to press her lips against his own. To pull his hair in hopes she’d control that kiss and everything else that would follow.

“Something I’ll regret… or what you’ll regret?” he boldly asked, slowly turning her head towards him by gently touching her chin. His gaze was intense.

Regret it? No, she wouldn’t. That was the problem. If she did… if she stopped this… it would mean she wanted Gino. It would mean that she chose him. And while she did want Gino, she wasn’t able to let go of Kogami. No one in her world made as much sense as he did.

“If you think you’ll regret it…” Kogami kept tempting, offering words he didn’t even believe. “If you aren’t sure…”

She looked up, facing him once more. She took a deep breath.

“I am sure, damn it. But how can you even touch me after…”

After Gino? Doesn’t he hate just looking at her now? How could he not… be bothered…

He didn’t allow her to finish that sentence; the beast in him wasn’t going to allow it. He pulled her hair, kissing her in such aggressive way it took her breath. The intensity made her break away from his lips just so she could get some air. Her own lips were burning, and the taste of his tongue was still present in her mouth. It was a sudden, fierce kiss that made her stomach twist from the anticipation. It left her wanting more. He did it on purpose. He did it to show that he wasn’t going to back down.

His lips rushed over hers in swift motion, making her moan as she leaned against the wall once more, both of her arms now spread next to her hips against the cloud surface so she wouldn’t have to touch him in the process. It would be over. She knew, if she placed her hands on his hot, muscular body… it would be over. She wouldn’t be able to think.

“Touch you after him? He touched you after me, Shizuka. He tried to claim what’s mine,” he whispered in that low, husky tone, playing with that tongue that twisted her stomach as much as it twisted her own tongue.

“Yours?” she rose her eyebrow, to what he smiled, separating his lips from hers.

“Entirely… and absolutely… mine.”

His tongue rolled over hers, making her return the next kiss. The tenser it got…

“Shin…”

He chewed on her lower lip, pulling it shortly with his teeth before sucking on it again, making her whole body stiffen from that familiar, electrical sensation. His lips were addictive. Skillful. He left her mind blank. And he enjoyed seeing the after effects more than he usually did.

“We could play each other’s therapist… profiler… or whatever this is… but that’s not how I want to play right now.”

He used his hand to support her nape as their heads moved in synchronous way. He was deepening that kiss, prolonging the sensation. Kogami was a great kisser… and his set of skills didn’t end there. It was hard to converse with someone who kissed like that. It felt kind of pointless not to get lost in the sensation of it.

“Shinya, let’s just…”

“Talking is the last thing I want to do right now,” Kogami stated, already fighting the urge to throw himself at her, rip all of her clothes and take her where she stood. Like a true Hound would. Luckily, he had enough self-control not to act on that impulse.

“We have to talk this through, though … or we will get even more damaged,” she hated herself for it, but it had to be resolved.

“Can’t you just be honest about what you want right now? No excuses… no justifications, no explanations, no fears, no apologies. Just pure, raw truth. What do you want in this very moment?”

He knew. He just wanted her to say it, maybe for her realization, but maybe also for the sake of his ego.

“Cocky bastard,” she said, grabbing his wrist and squeezing it by one hand, and placing her other palm on his chest. Shinya stiffened, thinking how the slightest of her touches still provoked his arousal that easily.

“Evidently… I still desire you,” she stated, panting, “I want you… but I am afraid. Once this attraction wears off, once the passion is spent… and once you start seeing me in a different light…”

“Don’t just presume you’ll know how I see you. In the end of the day, despite sleeping with him, you are here now, aren’t you? That has to mean something.”

His tongue slid down her neck, making her tremble from the wet, slick motion.

“Admit it to yourself if nothing else,” he licked his lips as he turned towards her. She initiated the next one. It was ferocious, lip-numbing. The way his lips moved in response… felt like a competition. She followed, she didn’t want to lose.

“You always have all the answers, don’t you?” she asked, breaking the kiss only to form a question and then continuing to kiss him more hungrily than before.

“Only those that resolve your doubts. But if you still doubt this… I’ll have to give him more credit than I expected.”

“Hey,” she gave him a sharp look.

“Does he know, though? This side of you,” he smiled, loving how feral she could turn in a moment.

“Wouldn’t you like to know? Wasn’t you the one who said you didn’t care about what I did with him once I was with him?”

He grabbed her hair, pulling it playfully enough to dominate her, but not to hurt her. He was kissing her neck, making her whole body tense from the expectation.

“Sorry… was I prying?” his tongue was leaving strings of wet trails all over her skin, making her gasp from the excitement.

“Just leave him out of it,” she said, feeling his hand reach for the zipper on her back, where her jumpsuit was opening.

“Gino is undoubtedly between us, even now,” Kogami remarked, pulling the fabrics down her hips and letting it slide on the floor. Her bra was black, with modest lace… and matching panties. The sight alone made him additionally impatient.

“I get it, though. He can’t stop himself from getting physical with you. It’s absurd that I get that, but I absolutely do. That urge. That greed… of having to have you. You know that kind of desire as well… for you had it with him. Like you have it with me now.”

His fingers slid up from her thighs towards her hips. He couldn’t tell why she was so appealing to him. Maybe it had something to do with the distance she put between them. Maybe it had to do with the possibility that she will no longer be his, but he found himself wanting her even more.

How do you break up with someone you have such a great chemistry with? She wasn’t only a partner… she was a lover, a friend and a supporter, all in one person. She was someone he could always rely on, even in times he felt his lowest. For most of the time, he felt he was that to her too.

“I do happen to dislike that he slept with you. I also happen to dislike that he will continue to do so. But what I like… is seeing you so bothered when you are around me. It really… pleases me.”

He groped her backside, making her press both her arms against his chest in response. His fingers squeezed her skin, and she buried her face into his torso, gasping for air. Her cheeks were red.

“It’s…”

“What I can do about it all… is make you remember who you want more,” he said, lifting her up, making her wrap both of her arms around his neck. They were kissing again, she felt like she could melt, but Kogami’s hands firmly supported her weight, firmly kept her composed, and sparked the same old lust within her.

“Shinya…”

“Say it,” Kogami teased, carrying her towards his bed and then pushing her onto the sheets. It was hard to talk, he didn’t want to break that kiss.

It wasn’t fair to compare them… it wasn’t… but… while Gino did have pretty good instincts, Kogami just had the experience. Over years, he learned about what she liked… or didn’t like. What excited her… and what didn’t. It simply wasn’t fair to compare them.

“You are really something,” she told him, feeling his fingers under her kneecaps, touching her all the way up her thighs. She was looking at his abs, his muscles… his expression. She let him position himself over her, covering her eyes with her hand. Kogami grabbed her wrist, jerking it quickly so she could properly look at his face.

“Maybe it’s my ego that refuses to admit that kind of defeat. But this isn’t the end I want for us, Shizuka. You know… back then, I felt as if I took you from him when he didn’t know what to do with his own feelings for you. In a way, he also probably felt… like we cheated on him when we got together. Him having sex with you… is not really a betrayal to me either. He just leveled up. But, I am still in the ring,” he said, heavily pressing his body against her own, as if he feared she’d change her mind. Which was the last thing she wanted, considering how he made her feel, but he needed to reassure himself - not her.

“This isn’t a boxing game, Kogami,” she stated, feeling his enormous size bulging underneath his trousers. She slowly ran her nails down his chest, causing him to shiver. He also let out a small grunt.

“No… this game is much more exciting,” he said.

She traced the line between his abs all the way to his underwear, pulling the edge slightly. She wanted him bigger. She wanted him in his prime. She grabbed him, squeezing it, watching his expression shift from cocky to intense. She was playing with the tip, rubbing him with her thumb. His teeth clenched, and he pressed both of his arms into the sheets, feeling her pace quicken. He was slowly gasping, not wanting to give in just yet.

“Let's be clear about one thing. This is not a ring and I am not a trophy,” she told him, biting his lower lip and pressing her tongue over the texture, tasting him once more. He grunted, moving his hand under her panties. His fingers were stiff… warm… and she convulsed as he started touching her, looking at her while doing so.

“Not a trophy… but you are the prize,” he whispered, cocking his head to start kissing her neck.

“On the contrary… it’s not worth it… because I am not worth it,” she whispered as well, watching him getting more and more flustered. She liked that expression on him. She loved him getting tense because of her.

“Let… others… decide on that,” he murmured, focusing on not losing too soon.

He was doing a great job of suppressing it. The release would be a blessing, but he didn’t want to cum just yet. He grabbed her wrist and pinned it next to her shoulder. His finger got deeper in her, making her produce a high-pitched moan. He added another, watching her clench her teeth.

Kogami was sometimes competitive in nature. Maybe he felt this as sort of a challenge… and it was even a bigger challenge since it was him versus Ginoza. Maybe he felt like he had an adequate opponent to fight him for something they both equally wanted. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be the playground, though.

He saw her expression. He licked her earlobe, speaking.

“You don’t get to over-think with me, Shizuka. You don’t get to agonize - we aren’t going to be like that, regardless of whether you sleep with him or not. We don’t think this through,” he pointed out how it wasn’t the time for that. “We don’t talk about reasons why we shouldn’t do it… we don’t over-analyze… we don’t look for reasons to feel guilty… ashamed… or betrayed. Not you and I.”

His tone made those words sound even better. She was wet. So wet… and ready for him. 

He removed her bra, exposing her breasts to his tongue. He was playing with her nipples, circling around the left as he squeezed her right one. Sound of sucking filled the room, and she had to lower her voice in order to control her moans.

He shifted to the other breast. His tongue played with the tip, his fingers were now slightly pinching, making her moan.

“If he gives up after this… all the better. I’ve known you intimately for much longer than he does. I know what gets you off. I know all the right places… all the delicate spots. I know exactly what it takes… to make you lose your mind. And you are aware of it too.”

She could have stepped away. She could have chosen Gino right there… and then. But the invisible string… still connecting her to Kogami… refused to be cut just like that.

“I am aware,” she whispered. “I wish I could solve this… solve it for the both of you. But I can’t,” she uttered. “I just… can’t.”

He removed his pants, dropping them on the floor next to the bed.

“And I am glad. Truly… glad,” he nibbled on her ear, moving his hand as his chest pressed against her breasts.

He couldn’t withstand all the talking any longer. This time… he wanted to fully act instead.

\------------------------------------------

The warmth was so all-consuming, she could have sworn she got a minor fever. His body felt the same. She was trying to breathe as he kept thrusting in her, wrecking her insides with his hardened, thick member. The way his fingers squeezed into her hips made her think about how badly he wanted to release at this point. Droplets of sweat were sliding down both of their bodies, but Kogami kept ramming, clenching his teeth. She wanted to scream… to fill that space with the sounds of pure ecstasy… but she wasn’t going to… not just yet.

His cock was already starting to throb from the speed. Her flustered expression didn’t help. Her escaped moans even less so.

“Shinya… Shinya…” her fingers were turning white from how strongly she was squeezing his wrists.

She was shocked once he pulled out, only to get down between her thighs and spread them apart.

“Put it b… wait... n-AAAAAH!”

His tongue filled her lower mouth, getting all over her clit. He kept her spread as his tongue smeared his saliva all over, mixing with her existing juices.

“Shinya… fuck…” she shuddered, weak in her knees as he kept licking her most sensitive area, skillfully and slowly enough not to make her cum instantly.

“I will fuck you, Shizu. In all the right ways,” he promised, twisting his tongue deeper in, feeling her spasm. Just before she got to release, he licked his lips and filled her up with his cock again. She moaned, grabbing his shoulders like her life depended on it.

She was squeezing his buttocks with her legs as he pumped his size deep into her, stretching and bending his upper body in rhythmical savagery that she approved off… loved… and longed for. She was pulling his hair, gasping between his savage thrusts. She was getting louder, because he did it harder. By no means… were they regular, Sibyl abiding couple, especially in sex.

Her walls contracted against his rod, and she was unable to hold her orgasm any longer.

He won, she thought… this time, he won. He gave her a moment before continuing to chase his peek.

\------------------------------------------

He was spreading her, circulating hard in her wet, soft center. She moaned loudly, stretching her upper part towards him, and getting on her elbows in the attempt to get whatever control she could get. Kogami grabbed her ankles and put them against his shoulder, reaching her from another angle. His member slid into once again, and she moaned once again.

“F… uck… Shinya!”

“Say it…”

“I want you…”

“And?”

“Keep on… just like that...” she managed to utter through her teeth. “Just like… that… do it harder…”

He did. He did just that, making her lose her mind again… just like he promised.

Then, he turned her on her stomach, licking her back as he was changing the pose anew.

\-----------------------------------------------

He was kissing her nape as he kept filling her from behind, keeping both of her hands down. His palms ensured she wouldn’t move. He wanted control, demanding to be the dominant one. She didn’t mind. She liked him like that. He switched again, wanting to look into her face as he kept pleasing her so hard that she wasn't able to keep looking at him for a few moments. He removed her hair, keeping it aside of her face just to see how good he made her feel. His thumb then traced her lips, and she bit into it, feeling him reach the furthest point he could inside of her stomach. She had to close her eyes, she was on the verge again.

“Slow… down…” she uttered, trying to turn her head as he rode relentlessly throughout her building orgasm. She tried to get away underneath him, to turn on the side, anything… but he pinned her down, reversing her hips back under him, making her feel him even harder. His expression did it this time, that expression that told her he'd not let her be until he completely destroys her in the best possible way. She lost it, overflowing.

“SHIN-YAA!!” she groaned, but his mouth covered her continued moans, sucking them in. He was too ferocious. Too intense. Sure… this had to have to do with Gino, and what he did. Kogami was competing. It was rather personal. Gino was exceptional. But Kogami indeed knew her.

She couldn’t take it anymore, she moaned loudly, enjoying his wild rhythm so much that she had to scratch his back repeatedly. And a bit too roughly, leaving redish marks on his stiffened, sweaty skin. She bit into his neck, wanting to scream regardless of who heard this time. It drove him insane.

He truly knew… just how to turn her on… and how to awake her own beast.

Still shaking, she threw him off of her, climbing on top, placing her hand on his chest as she rose again to ride him.

Her hair, usually perfectly combed into a bob, was now wavy, wet and messy. She was gasping, pulling her nails over his abs, and grabbing his own hips before starting to move. He grabbed her, getting harder than before. His hands groped her breasts, squeezing them.

His body was too hot for her, too large for her, too strong for her… but she enjoyed him a bit too much.

He enjoyed her too. So much that he outmatched her rhythm, sending her over the edge again. Over-stimulation was too intense, her muscles tightened against him, but he kept pumping, making her moan. She had to lie on him, and take that hurricane as calmly as she could, waiting for the sensation to wear off. By then, Kogami already had her in his lap, and he got atop of her again.

Damn it… he was good. He was too good at this.

\----------------------------

She was looking at her jumpsuit on the floor. She was too tired… too spent to get up and dress up.

“I preferred your skirts, you know. Other than showing your legs, they are way easier to take off,” he noted, lying relaxed next to her.

“Say… if this was our break up sex… would you be satisfied?” she asked, recalling how he asked that once from her, should they really break up.

“Hell no,” he said, turning his grey eyes towards her. “That would be just a warm up.”

She smiled.

“You animal.”

“Hounds will be hounds. But you liked it.”

“I did.”

There was no point in replying in any other way, given how he made her feel.

“I know what you think. That a civilized break-up before this escalates to unbearable proportions is probably for the best. But I can’t give you up, Shizuka.”

It was such a sincere, straightforward statement, she felt her heart warm up.

“I don’t want to break up either. But… isn’t it already unbearable?”

It had to be. Even after spending such a night together.

“It’s infuriating,” he admitted. “You see… if I were him, I’d do exactly the same. He knew if he slept with you again, he’d make you hesitate around me. And he got the upper hand since you were so distressed just being around me, wondering if a break-up neither one of us is willing to vocalize is the best choice for us, all after all.”

“It’s not like that,” she said. “He didn’t…”

“He did, Shizuka. Don’t underestimate him. He knows this is a game… and he obviously gets how it’s played, even if he learns as he goes.”

She sighed.

“I can’t do this right now.”

“I know. That was kind of the point.”

She bumped his shoulder, wrapping her leg around his waist.

“Hey…” he said, wondering if that was an invitation. Knowing how they were…

“Not again, Shinya. I am exhausted,” she put her hand over his torso, warming and cooling his chest with her breath. He was glad. Even someone with such a vigorous stamina as Kogami, had limits when it came down to love making.

He run his fingers through her hair, stroking her until her eyes got too heavy to keep them opened.

It felt like she was asleep for a few moments… until she realized the sound of alarm came from her wristcom.

\---------------------------

“Crap.”

Kogami opened his eyes too, taking a moment to realize what was happening.

She slept in. In the Bureau, of all places. She did stay overnight from time to time but she never stayed for so late it was actually too early to be in the Bureau.

“Leaving?”

“I have to. You on duty?” she asked, picking her underwear and putting it on.

“Morning shift. You coming?”

“I would… but that things is just too glamorous for a daily work,” she said, pointing out on her robe, and trying to straighten up her hair.

She was panicking. She was cute to him.

“Should I lend you one of my shirts?”

“To wear it as a dress?” she rose her eyebrow. But, with a suit over it… she might even pull it somehow.

“That would be hot,” he smiled, rising up along with her. 

“I could just try and put a holo over…”

“And risk the battery dying out on you? Going against Sibyl's policy again?” he asked.

Using holo-wardrobe wasn't exactly allowed in the building.

“Right.”

She sighed. Then, she dialed the number. Lazy voice was filled with a bit of frustration this time.

“I am going to kill you, Aki-chan. Your timing is truly the worst…”

“Shion… do you have a spare suit I could use?”

Pause was heard from the other side of the audio-line.

“Do I look like someone who wears…”

“Yes or no?”

“I have something. Wait. Aki-chan. Don’t tell me…”

Shion already assumed, but Shizuka didn’t have time to be ashamed.

“I’ll be there in five. Don’t provide anything too sexy, I am on duty.”

“A girl with legs like that ought to wear more skirts, you know?” Shion said, to what Kogami laughed. “All right, Aki-chan. We will work something out.”

"Great. Thanks."

Shizuka placed a peck on Shinya’s cheek before grabbing her stuff.

"I'll be seeing you later."

"Sure," he said.

He went to take a shower, realizing... that he didn't have a need to reach for a cigarette like he usually did. It made him smile.


End file.
